My Boyfriend Keeps Leaving Me. Is He Leaning Toward a Breakup?

Dr. Wendy Walsh Dr. Wendy Walsh • 9/25/14

Reader Question:

My boyfriend is 21 and I am 19. We met through work and continue to work together. When we are together, our relationship is great.

We were busy with work and our lives but made plans that we would hang out. He ran into a friend and left me hanging. I left him a message stating that I didn’t appreciate him leaving midconversation.

I don’t like being the nagging the girlfriend, but this is not the first time he has done this. I asked if I really was his girlfriend or someone out of convenience. He replied with no hesitation, “Of course not, you are my girlfriend.”

Why does he keep leaving me hanging rather than outright cancelling our plans? Is he just going for his me/guy time, or is he leaning toward a breakup?

-Natasha P. (Washington)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Relationships are a mutual exchange of care. Leaving you “hanging” is not giving you the care or respect that you deserve. Talk to him about his behavior. Be clear that you won’t continue to put up with his flaky inconsistency, and when he does it again, break up with him.

You are young and may not have experienced the love of a caring, reliable boyfriend. That kind of guy is out there and you owe it to yourself to make yourself available to him.

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