My Boyfriend Supports His Ex. Is it Wrong to Feel Like I’m Being Used?

July 13, 2012
My Boyfriend Supports His Ex. Is it Wrong to Feel Like I’m Being Used?

Reader Question:

My boyfriend still supports his ex financially and now he’s constantly surfing porn. Is it wrong to feel like I’m just being used because he can’t get what he really wants?

-Julie S. Silverdale (Washington)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

You’ve asked two separate questions here. As for him supporting his ex financially, I don’t know if there are children involved, a divorce decree, or if this is just him staying attached emotionally. I’d explore what the meaning of this financial support is and what his end goal is to wean her or not.

As for the porn question, that’s a big red flag. A lot of guys don’t realize that easy access to porn can make their brains become addicted to constant images of new and hot digital lovers, and it makes it difficult to find sexual satisfaction in a long-term monogamous relationship.

I would talk to him about his porn. Do some research and help him understand that porn is a drug like any other that can cause dopamine rushes and have an addictive quality.


No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.

Dr. Wendy Walsh is the author of "The 30-Day Love Detox"" (April 2013). Connect with her on Google+.

Related Topics:
Exes Jealousy

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