My Ex Goes Out of His Way to Bother Me. Why Does He Act This Way?

November 9, 2012
My Ex Goes Out of His Way to Bother Me. Why Does He Act This Way?

Reader Question:

My ex-boyfriend broke up with me but would not go more than five to seven days before he would call or text me. He would typically start texting while he was drunk, saying he was “so sorry.” When I found out he was with another woman, yet in touch with me, I cut all communication.

The ex and his girl go out of their way to act extremely affectionate around me, yet I have been told they constantly fight in public when I am not around. The ex has even gone so far as to give me a little shove from behind and then stated he didn’t realize it was me.

Why is my ex doing this? Why does he act this way when HE broke up with me? What do I do to make him stop and just move on?

-Kristin (Wisconsin)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

The real question is “Why did he break up with you?” Was he using it as a leverage to get something else from you? There’s no doubt he’s still attached to you, but his drunk texts and public displays designed to invite your jealous attention are a poor substitution for honest conversation.

If you love him and think there is still something there, call him and address all his behavior. If he still says he’d prefer to stay broken up, then you are right to not take his calls, avoid him in public, and move on. He doesn’t know what he wants.

No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.

Dr. Wendy Walsh is the author of "The 30-Day Love Detox"" (April 2013). Connect with her on Google+.

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2 Responses

    oooohhh the mind games men play. u ned too stop going where he goes and just forget he exsisted.

    It’s pretty clear to me that hes still not over you and wants you back.

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