My Feelings Have Depleted. Can I Break Up with Him Easily?

Dr. Wendy Walsh Dr. Wendy Walsh • 9/25/14

Reader Question:

I’ve been dating this one guy for almost two months, and he is completely and utterly in love with me. My feelings have slowly started to deplete.

He was my best guy friend and asked me out, but it’s starting to feel weird and I just want things back to the way they were.

Is there anything I could do or say to break up with him really easily?

-Katie (Virginia)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Katie,

I want you to ask yourself a few questions. Depending on the answers, you’ll know what to do.

Do you like him less because he loves you so much? Sometimes people have trouble tolerating the intimacy of a romantic relationship and pull back.

Did it move way too fast? Another reason you may want to pull back.

If you answered no to both of these questions and are sure you want to fully break up, you need to prepare yourself to lose his friendship too.

He’ll need time – many a long time – apart from you to heal from the breakup.

Do it in person or on the phone. NO TEXT!!!! And tell him your feelings have changed. Keep the conversation on you and your feelings, not on the things wrong with him.

And as much as you want things back to as they were, you’ll have to let go of that fantasy.

Your “best guy friend” was waiting for his moment to date you. Now that you’re about to break his heart, he won’t be going back to platonic friendship for quite a while.


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