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|Amber Brooks • 7/27/17|
The Short Version: Full of relatable articles and in-depth e-courses, the TrueLoveDates blog offers enriching relationship resources and dating insights from Debra Fileta, an author, Christian, and professional counselor. Since 2013, Debra has shared her psychological expertise and personal experiences with millions of readers around the world. Her blog, books, and speeches promote a faith-based approach to dating. Debra speaks candidly to singles, newlyweds, and long-time married couples about how to express love and nurture a healthy, spiritually grounded relationship. Whether you need tips on finding the right partner or advice on maintaining your marriage from day to day, TrueLoveDates supports and advises anyone looking for a life blessed by love.
Debra Fileta, a professional counselor who founded the blog TrueLoveDates.com, spends her days talking about the healthy emotional values that ground healthy, loving relationships. The Christian blogger sees herself as part of an online ministry for love and travels from coast to coast giving advice about how to cultivate stable relationships based on selflessness, faith, and trust.
One day, after Debra finished a speech, a young woman in the audience came up to her with tears glistening in her eyes. She said Debra’s words had given her the strength she needed to break free of a toxic relationship and surround herself with more giving people. Debra was touched by that moment because her mission is to inspire people, like the young woman, to foster healthier relationships.
“Seeing lives and relationships changed for the better is the most fulfilling part of this experience,” Debra said. “I’m so thankful for the healing and hope that is happening all across the country.”
The compassionate blogger started building her online reputation in 2013 when she wrote a book called “True Love Dates.” Hoping to help her first book gain traction with her target audience, Debra started a blog where she gave out free dating and relationship advice based on her experiences and knowledge as a licensed professional counselor. She thought it would be a good way to direct people to her book, but the blog quickly overshadowed her published work and grew into a viral sensation among daters.
“Little did I know that the blog would turn into its own separate entity, quickly reaching millions of people with the important message that healthy people make healthy relationships,” she said. “Before I knew it, the blog took off and has continued to amaze me with its dedicated readership!”
Today, TrueLoveDates sees over 150,000 visitors per month and boasts a combined readership of over 4 million people around the world. Debra dispenses tips for singles and couples in thought-provoking articles that speak to her core values as a Christian woman. While her audience has grown exponentially, the essential philosophy of her blog has remained the same since its inception: healthy people create healthy relationships.
On TrueDatesLove.com, Debra writes about love in an approachable way. Compassionate yet candid, the blogger gives her authentic opinions on emotional matters like how to be available without seeming desperate. She doesn’t shy away from difficult topics and sometimes gives controversial opinions.
Coming out strongly against “50 Shades of Grey,” she wrote, “It’s a story of hurt, and brokenness, and wounds finding their outlet in the form of dysfunctional sexual expression.” Debra stands up for the Christian values and psychological insights that inform her viewpoint and enrich her own relationships.
“I believe it’s important to speak truth into people’s lives, even when it might be uncomfortable at times,” she said. “But truth is only effective when spoken in love and understanding. I try to use a balance of truth and love.”
Debra weaves her own experiences, emotions, and faith into her articles to make her point and support her advice. As a wife, mother, and counselor, Debra has a wealth of knowledge on what makes a rewarding and functional relationship work in the real world.
“What an eye-opener. This is the first bit of info on the internet that actually made sense,” commented one reader named Paul on a TrueLoveDates article about one-sided relationships.
Debra excels at speaking to the complex emotional issues faced by adult daters. Most of her readers are between 25 and 40 years old and interested to learn how the Christian faith can inform and influence dating decisions. Men and women come to the site from all corners of the globe, but a strong majority hail from the United States. As evidenced by her diverse following, Debra’s message of love and hope can resonate with anyone looking to cultivate healthy relationships in their lives.
“I really believe the success of the blog indicates one main thing: this is a message people both need and want to hear,” Debra said, “and something we don’t talk about enough.”
Published in 2013, Debra’s first book, “True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life,” set the tone for her blog with engaging and wholesome relationship advice.
“True Love Dates blends the wisdom of a counselor with the sage experience of a woman who has made a wise marital choice,” Gary Thomas, a best-selling author, wrote in a blurb. “Debra Fileta finds the right balance for pursuing a life mate with proper spiritual priorities.”
Throughout the book, Debra’s underscores three central aspects of healthy dating for singles of faith:
“So often people are so focused on finding ‘The One’ that they lose themselves in the process,” Debra noted. “My hope is this book helps people see the importance of getting to know yourself well first and foremost.”
Debra’s next book, “Choosing Marriage: The Hardest and Greatest Thing You’ll Ever Do,” comes out in May 2018. The idea for this in-depth look at marriage came from an article she wrote for Relevant Magazine titled “Marriage Isn’t About Your Happiness,” which was shared over 590,000 times on Facebook. The viral success of this article showed Debra this was a topic people cared about and wanted to discuss. She expanded upon the underlying ideas in that article; namely, a healthy marriage sometimes requires great sacrifice and dedication.
Marriage has become a central topic on TrueLoveDates — even claiming its own section — as Debra outlines ways to keep a marriage strong, spice up the relationship, and deal with any challenges along the way. “Marriage is one of the most significant choices a person will make, but one in which too many people are going into unprepared,” Debra explained.
“Marriage is not about your happiness. It’s not even about you. It’s about LOVE — which is something we choose to give time and time again. It’s about sacrifice, serving, giving, forgiving, and then doing it all over again.” — Debra Fileta, professional counselor, author, and blogger
For her new book, the professional counselor and blogger has surveyed thousands of singles and married couples to learn their opinions of marriage, sex, and attraction. Her book breaks down the survey results and compares what people think about relationships to the reality of being in a selfless, healthy relationship. Debra doesn’t romanticize marriage; instead, she emphasizes the cost of true commitment and the sacrifices that strengthen love over time.
“I’m currently wrapping up the manuscript as we speak,” she told us. “I’m really excited about this release!”
In addition to her published works, blogs, and speeches, Debra also reaches out to singles and couples with hands-on educational content designed to empower singles and couples. In the TrueLoveDates online store, you can find e-courses on a range of topics from dating dealbreakers to pre-marital counseling.
Among her most popular packages is 21 Days to Jump Start Your Love Life, a three-week program for singles looking to develop good dating habits. Daily relationship-focused lessons and an accompanying 50-page workbook walk people through dealing with your dating history, knowing what you want from a relationship, implementing healthy boundaries, and attracting a date online or in person.
“I didn’t know how important it was to really know myself until I was part of this program. It’s the foundation for a healthy relationship!” — An anonymous participant of 21 Days to Jump-Start Your Love Life
Debra said the lesson plan is ideal “for anyone ready to take the next steps in furthering their relationship status in a meaningful and healthy way.”
She also offers more personalized help via one-on-one email consultations with readers looking for answers to specific relationship questions. “I love that Debra has this feature available!” Alicia wrote in a review of the consultation package. “She not only has an amazing amount of wisdom, but she is also honest in her advice to you.”
From a first-time author seeking readers for her book to a celebrated dating expert with a worldwide platform, Debra Fileta has found her niche speaking to singles and couples about the issues that move her as a wife, a mother, a counselor, and a Christian woman.
In addition to her online platform, published works, and impactful e-courses, Debra has taken her blog’s message on the road to share her insights at speaking events held across the country. Whether she’s on a stage at a university or in the comments section of her website, Debra actively engages with people on the topics of love, dating, and sex to promote an approach to dating that is psychologically sound and spiritually grounded.
“I can’t even describe the joy I feel in being able to ignite these important conversations with millions of men and women across the country,” Debra said. “I owe it all to God and this journey He’s allowed me to walk through this career.”