How Do You Show a Guy You’re Worth More Than Sex?

Gina Stewart Gina Stewart • 9/25/14

Reader Question:

How do you show your guy friend, whom you’ve been having sex with for the past six months, that you’re worth more than just sex? How and what do you do to make them realize it?

-Melissa (Louisiana)

Gina Stewart’s Answer:

How do you un-ring a bell? Where is Ponce de Leon’s fountain of youth? What is the sound of one hand clapping? These are all very important questions to which many people would like to know the answers.

Donald Trump once said the most important part of winning a negotiation is you have to be willing to walk away no matter what. If you don’t, your opponent will sense it and they will prey on your weakness to their advantage.

You’ve already slept with this dude and required nothing from him for it. As a woman, you’ve already played your biggest bargaining chip. Why would he give you more effort for something he doesn’t need to give you effort for?

You’re in a difficult position to get what you want from this point, but if you have any chance of it, this is how it’s done:

1. Realize your own worth.

This is a single sentence that seems easy and cliched but actually sets the foundation to guide so many of your own actions – some that won’t be easy.

It means making the hard choices that are better for your long-term happiness and goals. It means believing in something more for yourself and investing in yourself to make you strong.

When you really realize your own worth, others won’t question it. It will ooze out of you with no conscious effort on your part.

2. Don’t give away yourself on the hope of future returns.

Don’t give something to someone who hasn’t made an effort to deserve it.

3. Tell him what you want.

You’re going to be the one who has to have the “come Jesus” talk with him.

4. Give him space to think about it before you require a response.

You just shook up his world. Don’t require an immediate response or else you’ll get the one you don’t want to have.

5. Be willing to walk away.

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