The 7 Worst Love Poems of All Time

Women's Dating

The 7 Worst Love Poems of All Time

Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews • 9/25/14

August is Romance Awareness Month, and Aug. 18 is Bad Poetry Day. To knock out two celebrations at once, we decided to find the worst love poems ever. These poems will definitely last longer than the relationships did.

We’ve also included some GIFs to express the feelings we had when reading these.

7. “Lucky In Love”

Lucky in love, lucky in love
Didn’t forget me when I asked you to leave me
Didn’t forget me
Now you’re alongside me
You’ve brought luck to love
I’ve been hit by a truck in love
"Lucky In Love"

We know Jennifer Aniston was way into John Mayer, but that is no excuse for this. She should just give photographs next time.

Poem source:

6. “Planets Align”

I’m your Mars
You are my Venus
You are my vagina
I am your penis
"Planets Align"

Uh, what? We’re not OK with either of the scenarios presented here. Please return to your own planet and your own genitals.

Poem source:

5. “Ode to You”

You are the starlight to my moonshine
You are the summer of my mind
You can complete a perfect square
And still make jocks stop and stare

My heart goes boom

You can make a perfect sandwich
If you want to
Baby I won’t force you
But please don’t lay on that mayonaisse
Unless you want to

My stomach has room

You are so beautiful
Make me a sandwich

"Ode to You"

We’re not entirely sure if this is a compliment, but the answer is no we will not make you a sandwich. Keep your condiments to yourself.

Poem source:

4. “I Need Your Love”

I need your love to keep me warm
Like the fires burning inside of us
Pushing us over the edge of insanity
Keeping us so close together in heart
And yet so far apart in miles

"I Need Your Love"

If this is the kind of poetry you’re supplying, we think there’s a reason you’re “so far apart in miles.” Do not go over the edge.

Poem source:

3. “You Fill Me With Your Love”

You fill me
With your love
You fill me

With your caring
You fill me
With your thoughts

You fill me
With your sharing

"You Fill Me With Your Love"

Everyone’s favorite emotionless Vulcan showed his heart… ish. We’d actually prefer if Leonard Nimoy didn’t share these feelings.

Poem source:

2. “Heartthrob”

Oh baby my heart beats like a drum
Every time I touch your bum
I know my way with words is slick
Do you wanna come and touch my stick


We can feel our hearts throbbing, but it’s from the ache caused by knowing someone could write this. No, slick, we don’t.

Poem source:

1. “Our Love is Like a Bowling Ball”

Our love is like a bowling ball
Like a brand new Brunswick Red Zone
It rolls and rolls down the alley of desire
And rolls and rolls and rolls.

I will keep you out of the gutters, my love
And put my fingers in your holes
Every kiss a strike or at least a spare
Our future a perfect game.

Our love is like a bowling ball,
Our scores will rise and rise
I shall never step beyond the foul line
And I will rent your shoes.

"Our Love is Like a Bowling Ball"

And now the game of bowling is ruined forever for us. Please don’t come anywhere near us or our shoes.

Poem source: