There is an Age Gap and No Physical Attraction. What Should I Do?

Dr. Wendy Walsh Dr. Wendy Walsh • 9/25/14

Reader Question:

I’m dating this guy and it’s a long-distance relationship. He says all the right things and I could see a future with him, except for two deal-breakers.

One is there is a 10-year age difference that doesn’t really bother me, but I do worry about what my family would think. Deal-breaker number two is there is no physical attraction on my part and he’s so far from what I normally go for.

I don’t know if I’m being shallow or if I could get the brains and the beauty or if I’m settling.

What should I do?

-Tia (Washington)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Tia,

Let me get this straight: You are “dating” a man you are not physically attracted to, your parents would not approve of him and who doesn’t even live in the same city as you.

Have you even gone on a real date with him? If so, what ARE you attracted by?

The only thing you’ve told me is he says the right things. That’s not a basis for a healthy relationship in my opinion. He could be saying only what you want to hear.


No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.