We Are Giving the Relationship Another Try. How Long Until We Rebuild It?

Dr. Wendy Walsh Dr. Wendy Walsh • 9/25/14

Reader Question:

I had been dating a guy since January. We clicked immediately and fell in love. He told me he saw a future together. I told him I felt the same. I also showed him how I felt with affection.

He left for three weeks with his friends in Las Vegas, visiting family and business meetings. We texted each other when he was away. When he got back, he broke up with me.

I told him how I felt about us. He agreed it would be good to give our relationship another try. He said if I don’t hear from him in a while, it didn’t mean he wasn’t taking things seriously. It’s been a week now and we’ve had one email exchange.

I know some space is good, but how long will this be until we meet again to start rebuilding our relationship?

-Karen (New York)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Here’s a lesson every woman should know: While we commit when we’ve met the right guy, men commit when they’ve hit a state of readiness.

There’s not one thing a woman can do to rush a man’s state of readiness, so don’t take it personally.

Also, don’t wait around. If he broke up with you, he means it. It’s telling that he did it after a Vegas weekend with the guys. He liked his freedom there.

My advice: Move on. When he’s ready, he may come back, but generally when a guy hits a state of readiness, he throws to the new girl who’s up at bat.


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