We Don’t Get A Lot of Alone Time. Is It Wrong to Want More?

Dr. Wendy Walsh Dr. Wendy Walsh • 9/25/14

Reader Question:

I’ve been dating this guy since last June. We see each other twice a week for a few hours and text each other daily.

We are both divorced and have kids, so we usually only get one “alone time” date. I’ve only been divorced for a year and a half. He’s been divorced for eight years.

Is it wrong of me to want more, or am I being selfish?

-Robyn (New York)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Robyn,

There are no rights or wrongs here. Just your valuable feelings.

Of course it’s OK to want more, but it’s also wonderful you two are putting your kids first and not dragging them through an adult romance that may or may not be forever.

On the other hand, I get the feeling you can make more time for him, yet he doesn’t want more.

And the answer to that is to discuss it with him. Share your feelings about your needs, and if he ignores your needs, then you may need to think about the potential for long-term fulfillment in this relationship.

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