What Do I Do When the Same Person Keeps Asking Me Out?

Bethany Heinesh Bethany Heinesh • 9/25/14

No means no. Period. Whether you don’t want to have sex, watch porn or eat a certain kind of food, you have to learn the power of “NO.” Many women struggle with this concept and think they are being rude, selfish or ungrateful when they utter that teeny-tiny word.

We say yes when people ask us to help with a project when we’re already overworked or when a friend asks to borrow money even though we are struggling financially, and we go to great lengths to ensure the happiness of others when we’re miserable inside.

Ironically, we give out a yes every time we turn around, but we have incredible difficulty being good to ourselves and giving ourselves permission to say no.

Men know this. They know it’s in our nature to say yes, and they also know we often coyly say no when we really mean yes. This is why men are often persistent and keep pressing an issue when we’ve already said no.

If you’ve been asked out by some guy who won’t take no for an answer, you have been presented with a grand opportunity to practice the power of no.

I now have a rule I practice and it is very effective. When asked to do something I don’t want to do, the first “no” is a polite and softly spoken, “No, thank you.” The second time is a firm, assertive and serious, “I said no.”

The third one goes a little something like this: In a voice loud enough to send a clear message, “I’ve said no twice. What part of ‘no’ don’t you understand?”

This last “no,” when spoken in a loud voice, also alerts others that you might be in a dangerous situation with a psycho and might require an intervention. Trust me, it works.