What Does it Mean When a Match Disappears and Reappears?

Bethany Heinesh Bethany Heinesh • 7/27/12

When you meet a guy online and he pulls the ol’ Houdini disappearing act, there are a number of explanations that might offer insight into his behavior.

First, let’s establish an online dating rule: Anything goes and no one needs to apologize for themselves. Just because you’re chatting with a match and things seem to be going well, it doesn’t guarantee you a date, let alone a long-term relationship. People often act flaky on the Internet and come and go, including us girls.

How many times have you been chatting with a guy and left him hanging? That’s the beauty of establishing an online connection — you stay in the control seat and can freely move about without feeling guilty.

The usual reason a match fades out and then fades back in is because he was also chatting with some other girl and began dating her. They broke up and now he’s back.

This has nothing to do with you. It simply means he wanted to try it out with someone else and it just didn’t work. Her bad luck could be your good fortune, so don’t immediately write the guy off.

His absence might also mean work took a priority for a while, he had a death in the family, he’s been busy. Whatever it is, don’t jump to any conclusions and assume the worst. If you’re really into the guy, give him another chance.

Typically, if you play it cool, he will eventually explain himself and apologize for his behavior.