What Does it Mean if My Boyfriend is Not Responding to My Calls and Texts?

Kara Pound Kara Pound • 6/29/12

Reader Question:

What does it mean if my boyfriend of two and a half years is not responding to my calls and texts? When I did get a hold of him, he would tell me that he would call me later. It has been two weeks of me being ignored.

He is away at an internship in South Carolina right now. A year ago, we almost broke up. He has never been a phone guy, but he would always text me the next day saying sorry or he was busy. I don’t understand because he had watery eyes the night before he left for his internship.

I know something is up because I text him that we need to set up a time to talk and he never calls me back. Our Facebook status says were still together, but obviously we aren’t seeing each other because he’s away and not talking. What should I do?

-Christina Y. (New Jersey)

Expert’s Answer:

Hey Christina,

Thanks for reaching out! The most important thing in a relationship is communication. The two of you have been together for two and a half years. That’s a long time. Even if he’s super busy at his internship, he should have the common courtesy to tell you why he’s being nonresponsive.

What are the chances that he’s found someone else? What is your gut telling you? I don’t know how old you are, but if you put stock in your Facebook status, then I’m guessing you’re on the younger side – early to mid-20s. Like I said, the two of you have been together for a long time, but people evolve and go through a lot of changes in their 20s.

It sounds like your boyfriend is putting himself first. Maybe it’s time you do, too. Does he respond to email? If not, do you know if he at least reads them? Send him an email and let him know you love him but you understand that this internship is really important to him. Also, let him know that it’s difficult for you when he doesn’t take a few seconds to text you back or a few minutes to call.

See what he does with your honesty, follow your gut and, most importantly, put yourself and your happiness first.

Good luck!

Kara