When He Has His Son, I’m Out of the Picture. Am I Being Sensitive?

Dr. Wendy Walsh Dr. Wendy Walsh • 9/25/14

Reader Question:

I have been divorced for six years and feel I am ready to start dating. I have put my profile online, but in the meantime, I met a guy through my job. He initiated the first date and I did the last two dates. At first he would respond to all my texts. Now he does not. When he has his son, I am out of the picture. When he doesn’t have his son, I am in the picture.

Am I being oversensitive? Or is my gut right on? Should I tell him I am going to date other people (since he doesn’t really have the time to foster a relationship)?

-Melissa (Tennessee)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Melissa,

You don’t have to tell him one thing. That’s like saying, “I’m going to tell him to stop calling me because he keeps not calling.”

You haven’t made a commitment to this man, and I hope you haven’t had sex with him. You and he are two free people who can explore compatibility when you have time.

But, let me remind you, exploring compatibility means paying attention to his signals. And I’m glad to hear you are doing that. You’ve initiated the last two dates, so now it’s time to back off and let him lead. If he doesn’t, then you have your answer.

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