When is Lying OK?

September 20, 2012
When is Lying OK?

This is how I feel about lying: One day my sister was driving from Connecticut to the Fashion Institute of Technology in New York City, where she was going to college. She was on the Saw Mill River Parkway when the car in front of her hit a cat.

She called me crying hysterically and asked if I could contact the local animal shelter to look for the cat. I did call the shelter but they didn’t give me any news about the cat. I lied to my sister because I didn’t want her to be too emotional to drive and/or have a crappy day at school.

There are absolutely times when little white lies are told to protect someone you love. Whether it’s your sister, mother, best friend or boyfriend, stretching the truth has an upside.

Here are a few examples of when keeping a little secret from your boyfriend or husband is given the green light.

1. A surprise birthday party.

You have to lie to your man when it comes to planning a surprise birthday party. Just imagine his face when he sees his 10 best buddies who flew in to spend the big 3-0 with him. The months of lying to your beau will definitely pay off.

2. The kids are out of control.

Say he’s on a three-day trip in Las Vegas with his buddies and the kids are being complete hellions. Do yourself a favor: When he calls to check on the family, just tell him everything is great.

He’s all the way in Vegas (he can’t help change diapers or do algebra homework) so let him have fun. You can ask for the same in exchange when you go on a spa weekend.

3. You don’t like his parents.

This is a tough subject. You want to be honest with your boyfriend about important things like future in-laws, but being completely forthright about your negative feelings for his parents won’t do anyone any good.

Keep this information to yourself (even if he asks), and maybe the dynamics of the relationship will change down the road.

Telling a white lie here and there to protect the people you love can be a good thing. Whether it’s planning a huge surprise birthday blowout or letting him have some time (sans kids) to enjoy a weekend away, the truth will come out in the end.

Kara Pound is an award-winning journalist based in St. Augustine, Fla. She holds a Bachelor of Science in Journalism from Flagler College. Her work has been published in INKED, Natural Awakenings, Design Aglow, Memphis Flyer, Jacksonville Magazine, E/Environmental Magazine and dozens more. Check out some of Kara's work at karapound.com. Connect with her on Google+.

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3 Responses

    I expected this article to go a completely different way…guess there’s still some good points though

    There is a bit of a communication gap between me and my fiance. He is learning English, and I can passibly speak his language, but at times a situation can be so absurd or complicated, it’s easier just to tell him the simple version or leave a bunch of things out. If the end result is the same, I think it’s fine. Some people might consider it lying, I consider it withholding information, lol.

    I lied to my boyfriend a year ago about a one-night stand I had with one of his friends. It was a mistake, but the guilt is eating away at me. I love him and don’t want to lose him. Should I tell him? Or since it was so long ago, should I just keep quiet forever?

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