When it comes to meeting a guy’s parents, all I can think about is how stressful it is to watch any of the “Meet the Parents” movies. During the entire two hours, I’m screaming at the TV, “Focker, get out of there. I don’t care how much you love your girlfriend/fiance/wife, these people are crazy!”
In real life, a.k.a. not the Silver Screen, knowing when to meet the parents is an actual issue many women have to deal with. There are so many variables:
- How long have you been with your beau?
- Do the parents live locally?
- Is he close with them?
- Are you a family-oriented chick?
Let’s look at a few different situations and determine if the time is right to meet ma and pa:
1. You’re engaged.
Duh! If you’re going to marry this man, then you need to know where he came from. Even if he keeps telling you “They’re crazy,” you still need to spend some time to get to know them. A meet-and-greet is an absolute must, and you should put on your best party dress, read an etiquette book and impress the hell out of them.
2. They’re from out of town.
Say you’ve only been with your guy for a month or two and he invites you to dinner with his parents, who are missionaries in Africa. You should definitely be there because who knows when they will be stateside again? Well, that’s if you see this relationship going somewhere. If it’s just a fling for you and it’s obviously something more to him, then you need to have a big talk.
3. You’re being pressured.
Maybe your boyfriend’s parents live five minutes away from your apartment and you’ve only been together for two weeks. Do you take the plunge and have drinks — just the four of you? I’d say you should politely decline and mention that the relationship is relatively new and there will be plenty of future opportunities to meet the Mr. and Mrs. After all, they’re only a short ride away.
Like I said, there are a lot of different factors that come into play when determining if it’s the right time to meet your guy’s parents. It could be a once in a lifetime opportunity or a pressure cooker to see where the relationship is going. Either way, trust your gut instinct and do what feels right to you.