When to Say “Yes” to Sex
|Dr. Wendy Walsh • 3/04/13|
There’s a time and a place for sex, especially if you want to keep a relationship for longer than a couple weeks.
So, unless you can check off the following three criteria, prematurely hopping into bed with your partner may ruin your chances of finding committed love.
1. It’s been at least 30 days.
This means 30 days of consistent contact (text and email do not count).
There should be face time (not the iPhone kind) and phone time where you actually get to know each other and start to bond.
He shouldn’t “disappear” for a few days at a time, flake on you or ignore your phone calls. This is the time he should be impressing you and showing you how he treats a lady.
And research shows if you delay the onset of sex for at least 30 days, the chances of building a long-term relationship improve greatly.
“Delaying your sexual relationship will give you
the power to make wise feminine choices.”
2. He’s expressed he loves you.
He doesn’t have to express them in words, but he should express that he likes you a lot.
Men aren’t usually quick to say “I love you” but there are variations of it, including “I like you a lot” or “ You’re really important to me,” that have powerful meaning.
This is a sign of emotional intimacy and a declaration of his feelings for you. And it also acknowledges he understands sex and feelings are something that can be connected.
3. You’ve both acknowledged you’re exclusive.
Yes, its that awkward talk so many couples forgo, and then usually the woman regrets it because its hard to take back the power after you’ve done the deed.
Make sure you and him mutually understand the parameters of your relationship. This means blatantly asking him.
You don’t want to be exchanging bloodstreams with other women. Define clear rules and boundaries for your sexual relationship.
Delaying your sexual relationship will allow for intimacy building and will give you the power to make wise feminine choices.
You’ll build long-term relationship skills without oxytocin clouding your wisdom.
And you’ll be able to weed out the good guys from the bad. The bad guys won’t hang around for 30 days if they’re not getting sex.
Bottom line: Waiting to have sex will decrease the likelihood of heartbreak and improve your chances for a long-term relationship.
How long do you wait before you say “yes” to sex?
Photo source: hookingupsmart.com.