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|Jordan Harbinger • 9/25/14|
Why are men so shy about relationships? This is a question many women have asked themselves many times in their lives.
Still, shaking your fists at the heavens and asking why isn’t going to get you any kind of an answer.
Here are a few reasons why men have commitment phobia.
Men love being independent. We like having someone to come home to, but we don’t like to feel like we owe something to anyone. Girlfriends can take up a lot of time.
On top of that, they can make you feel bad for not giving them even more time. Every guy has had a girlfriend that wanted him to drop everything whenever she wanted and do whatever she wanted.
Women like that are at the top of the list of reasons why men don’t want girlfriends.
Believe it or not, men aren’t necessarily opposed to the idea of change. It’s when someone else tries to change us that we get a little on edge.
It’s not that we don’t want a girlfriend, per se. It’s that we want a girlfriend who is going to accept us for who we are – nothing more, nothing less.
Trying to change someone is a lot of pressure. It can put a lot of strain on a relationship. When you change someone, you’re rarely happy with the results.
“The best way to deal with this is
to take his needs into account.”
Whether it’s golf or “Call of Duty,” a lot of times women just don’t understand the passions and proclivities of the men they date.
This can lead to a lot of negative energy in the couple, as she dismisses his hobbies and interests while expecting him to go Hummel shopping with her every weekend.
Men need alone time and they need time with the guys. Preventing them from getting either is a recipe for resentment.
“Does this make me look fat?” It’s almost a punch line to a joke at this point, but we still hate it. Why? Because you’re putting pressure on us by seeking validation.
A truly strong woman doesn’t need validation from a man or anyone else.
Going to your boyfriend for this kind of validation stresses him out, and rightfully so. There’s often not a good answer to this type of question.
He might not tell you this, but men value time alone and silence.
It’s not that he doesn’t ever want to spend time with you or that he hates it every time you talk.
But if you keep talking to him and he doesn’t have much to say in response, you should take the hint and give him a little bit of room to just exist.
An incessantly chatty girlfriend somewhere in his past might have made him extra sensitive to his needs for privacy and silence.
It’s not necessarily that men prefer being single. They might just have had bad experiences in their past that make them a little gun shy about getting into their next relationship.
The best way to deal with this is to take his needs into account and tread lightly on the side of caution.
Basically, all men want some super stellar chick in their life. You being that woman is the best way to get him to drop his defenses.
Ladies, have you ever dealt with a difficult man who didn’t want a relationship? What did you do about it? Which tip did you find most helpful?
Photo source: mirror.co.uk.