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|Ellen Smoak • 11/18/15|
Have you ever wanted to cuddle with a man after sex and been denied? Your man simply doesn’t give you the kind of intimate affection after sex that you would like, and you’re starting to wonder if it’s you.
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Here’s why he won’t cuddle with you after sex:
“Why is he distant after sex? Does he not love me as much I love him?”
After such an intimate, heart- and soul-opening experience, why is it your man can just get up, get dressed and get the hell out so damn quickly?
There’s no denying you crave intimacy after sex (especially if you’re in love with him.)
There’s also no denying what you want after sex is for your man to hold you, caress you and tell you how much you mean to him.
After having sex, wouldn’t it be nice if your man opened his arms and his heart, allowing you to sink into them both?
It would be quite possible if men were like women.
You may or may not have heard about a very powerful (and often potent) hormone called oxytocin.
Large amounts of this hormone, often referred to as the “love hormone,” are released in a woman’s brain during certain times, particularly during childbirth.
It helps to facilitate birth and plays a very large role in the maternal bonding between mother and child.
Oxytocin is also released in large doses in a woman’s brain during intercourse, resulting in a level of bonding with her partner and feelings of trust and empathy.
This is a beautiful, natural bonding process women undergo after sex.
So, ladies, your man just simply does not have the same physiological reaction to sex.
He doesn’t need to bond any further. He doesn’t feel empathy to hold you in his arms and listen to your innermost thoughts, and he most certainly doesn’t want to share his.
On the contrary, men actually experience a very different sensation from intimacy. Men actually feel the need to pull away for a while.
Yes, men actually need to pull away after sex in order to regain their autonomy and reconnect with themselves on a more masculine level.
Men go through a type of intimacy cycle we women do not cycle through, nor do we understand or relate to it.
Men, by nature, feel an innate need to pull away from us periodically after periods of intimacy.
Just like it’s natural for us to want to get closer to them after being intimate, it’s just as natural for them to want to pull away for a while.
All men are different, of course. Some will pull away right then.
Others will be able to remain close and intimate for some time before feeling the need to disappear for a while and regain their autonomy through reconnecting with their masculine selves.
And the sooner you start to realize, understand and accept this intimacy cycle, the easier (and more fulfilling) your relationships will be with men.
Realizing, understanding and accepting this is only half the battle. Knowing what to do in the face of this situation is the other half.
If you’re currently in a relationship with a man, talk to him about this intimacy difference. Explain to him your new knowledge and see if he can relate to these differences. Decide together how you can both have your intimacy needs met.
For example, you might request he cuddle with you for a finite period of time after sex, like five to 10 minutes.
However, remember there are two people in your relationship and your partner’s needs are just as important as your needs.
So if you request that he cuddle, what can you offer to do for him in return that doesn’t always come “natural” to you?
Asking him to share what you can do in return will also potentially shed light on something about your relationship he may be having an issue with.
You will now have the opportunity to correct this issue in order to avoid potential problems in the future.
If you’re not in a relationship, this topic is a perfect one to bring up on a date.
Not only will you impress your date with your knowledge about the vast differences between men and woman, but you’ll also intrigue him with your generosity and ability to view a relationship from both sides, which will be very attractive to a commitment-oriented man!
Ladies, can you relate to this article? If so, leave a comment below! I can’t wait to read them.
Photo source: allvoices.com.