2 Months Dating, Am I over-thinking Things?

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2 Months Dating, Am I over-thinking Things?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    bonnie564
    Participant
    September 16, 2013 at 12:42 pm #38941
    2 Months Dating, Am I over-thinking Things?

    Met a guy on Match in July and we hit it off right away. Definitely a lot of passion between us from the first date. We dated a few more times and then were intimate. I know that I am interested in pursuing an exclusive relationship with him, but I don’t know if he is on the same page. A little background: I am a divorced mom with two teens who live with me most of the week. He’s never been married, no kids, and probably doesn’t want them. We’ve been dating/sleeping together for two months now and he rarely asks me anything about my children or my life. Most of our conversations are via text and usually end up being sexual. I know that’s a bad sign, but everything he’s shared with me so far has been true. A few weeks ago, I decided that I didn’t want to talk to anyone else on Match (mostly because it’s tedious) and because I’m really into the guy I’m seeing, and not interested in anyone else. I told him this but I didn’t ask him to take down his match or pof accounts. I didn’t want to pressure him. But, now I’m having doubts. He’s still on them and active. I asked him about it and he said he hasn’t seen anyone else, he just considers it harmless flirting. I believe that he hasn’t gone on dates with anyone since we met. He texts me the minute he wakes up and we end up texting each other all day, sometimes with no more than 10 minutes passing between texts. I don’t think it’s possible for him to be on a date and text me that much. We’re both in our 40’s, and I’ve expressed to him that I’m not looking to rush things. My situation is that I have to stay in my house for the next 6 years or so until my children are both graduated, so it’s not like I’m giving off vibes that I’m desperate to get remarried or anything. I get the feeling from other habits of his that he may just take some time to think things through before making a decision. The problem is that I am not a patient person. I feel like 2 months is long enough to know if you want to be serious with someone or not. Am I overthinking all of this, or do you think I should move on and stop wasting my time? Thanks!

    sharklasers
    sharklasers
    Participant
    September 19, 2013 at 2:09 pm #39282

    It’s not so much that you are overthinking it, but that he is clearly not giving it much thought. There’s obviously only one thing on his mind. If you don’t pressure him one way or another, you’re just gonna be playing the same game until he finds his next fling on pof and match.

    You should move on and stop wasting your time.

    datingisamazing
    datingisamazing
    Participant
    September 19, 2013 at 2:27 pm #39311

    ^ I agree with sharklasers. I think the guy has one thing on his mind. Friends with benefits, much? If it takes some texting back and forth (which many people do anyways) to get some booty, he’s probably continuing to do so as “maintenance” for the “relationship” you have. When you think you’ve found “the one”, you’d most likely stop flirting with other people or even go on Match.com at all – like you did. He obviously is still on Match.com though so he probably doesn’t see you as “the one.” Flirting with someone else when you’re actually in a relationship ISN’T considered “harmless.” I’d say move on!


    yobitch
    Participant
    September 19, 2013 at 2:28 pm #39313

    I agree with shark lasers. He seems like he just wants to get his kicks. It doesn’t make him a bad guy. But it doesn’t mean ou should have to stick around. Do what you feel is right

    foreversingle
    foreversingle
    Participant
    September 19, 2013 at 2:53 pm #39346

    I agree with shark lasers. He seems like he just wants to get his kicks. It doesn’t make him a bad guy. But it doesn’t mean ou should have to stick around. Do what you feel is right

    Wtf. It doesn’t make him a bad guy? The hell it does. If he wants to use you just for sex – dump him! He’s probably cruising Match.com right this instance for more long-term sexual partners. Men are dogs and just want some.

    sharklasers
    sharklasers
    Participant
    September 26, 2013 at 2:26 pm #40075

    Men are dogs and just want some.

    Yo, no wonder you’re forever single with that attitude. I ain’t no dog, I’m a shark.


    Lluvia
    Participant
    January 11, 2014 at 3:44 pm #45905

    I been in your exact situation.
    He is NOT interested in anything more than friends with benefits. No commitment. No strings attached. Men like him just want to have ” a good time” and it is usually on their terms, when it’s convenient for them at their place ( he will ask you to come over and rarely ask you to stay). They prefer a ” home cooked dinner” ( made by you of course), TV and sex instead of ” let me take you out to dinner, movies”, then be intimate and drive you back home . Sounds familiar?
    Move on. He is not worth it.


    Lovebug
    Participant
    January 11, 2014 at 9:22 pm #45906

    For me, you should at least get to know him. 2 months ain’t enough if you want a decent relationship.


    Anonymous
    January 13, 2014 at 1:54 pm #45946

    your post is a perfect match to an article in my magazine http://www.true2youezine.com
    We talk about women over thinking things in our article Should I or Shouldn’t I? If you subscribe we feature your questions for advice in a magazine issue