2nd date help

DATING ADVICE FORUM

2nd date help

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    Mikel85
    Participant
    March 3, 2017 at 4:52 pm #129038
    2nd date help

    Hi guys,
    i am starting to feeling depressed lately cause i been going on so many dates like 2-3date every week and i cant get a 2nd date i dont understand whats going on?
    I understand its internet dating and there is always a lower chance it works but like im starting to feel that there is something wrong with me….
    Like i read lot of books about dating…im confident….im smart…i know how to flirt and all that … and im also good looking..i dress really well…like i swear i cant find what is wrong…..why are girls not interested in me….to see me again is beyond me…..
    Like i been dating for years on internet and im wasting sooo much time cause i barely ever get 2nd dates…i would say i get a 5 to 10% 2nd dates which is almost a miracle when it happens….
    Since i went on so many dates i feel like i developed lot of practic and i even feel im good with women…like when im with them i feel confy and im interesting talking lot of subjects….im funny
    Like im here to ask what


    Mikel85
    Participant
    March 3, 2017 at 4:52 pm #129039

    what should i do?
    what should i work on?
    how can i know what im doing wrong?

    like im at this point not sure what to think or to do…i waste so much money and time its unbelievable !!

    richiro
    richiro
    Participant
    March 3, 2017 at 5:55 pm #129064

    you’re probably coming off a bit desperate or negative in your “unspoken language” (aka your aura, your body language) probaly bc in the back of your head youre wondering how this one is going to turn out? will this one work or not? is this going well ro not? how is this one goign to crash? etc.

    i don’t mean activly but even in the subconscious.

    the best tool i can give to you i’ve ever come across (and tried) and have had it backed up multiuple times by experts in the field is (and this is not just for dating but all facets of life) — stay IN the moment. Just focus on what’s going on now and enjoy the NOW.

    That way you’re not thinking ahead, what if this or what if that or what you’re doing later or next weekend – should i kiss her? do she like me while you’re on a date or even talking to family or friends or at work.

    guarantee if you just FOCUS and stay in the moment – magically one day you’ll be like, “whoa. my life is completely changed!!!” give it a try.


    Mikel85
    Participant
    March 6, 2017 at 9:52 am #129071

    yeah i been doing that on dates too….like i stay focused on the moment…..but maybe sometimes i get carried away to think like is it going good right now…is she liking me and asking those questions….
    but my main concern i think is my behavior with woman there must be something wrong for having so many failures….
    or is it that internet dating is that bad and really not working ??
    like i have friends that rarely gets declined on dates…what are they doing that is soo different !! like i dont know !!
    i need to work on myself or on the way i talk or act…im not sure……but as far as i am concerned there is nothing wrong i see !!!!!!!!


    rmacca1511
    Participant
    March 27, 2017 at 2:06 pm #131254

    don’t think it’ll never happen, you clearly have the qualities to be the ideal guy for a girl.

    I tend to struggle even getting first dates, but when i have a first date they usually go quite well and when I ask for a second date after the “had a good night” text, they often agree. I usually just tone down the flirting (maybe the odd compliment here and then) and just have a generic conversation, they’ll like that since it shows you’re not trying to rush too much into it. Then the second date you’re open to be more flirty with them.. that’s all I can say really, but you’re not alone girls especially from online tend to be very cautious due to the bad reputation online dating gives


    Dragonroll
    Participant
    March 31, 2017 at 8:55 am #131688

    It’s your mannerisms but the only way to know what they are is to get input from the girls you went out with in the past or someone who’s willing to date your or watch you date now. Which are all three strange scenarios and might not be doable. It’s a toughie. I know for one of my dates I found out that I came off as pretentious. I was feeling shy and awkward but was trying to keep up the ‘confidence’ and have something intellectual to talk about so I wouldn’t show off my ditzy side but it backfired and I didn’t even know that I was coming across that way.


    TooOldForThis94
    Participant
    April 14, 2017 at 2:22 pm #133299

    Yes you have to show confidence and you will be fine


    jj91
    Participant
    April 15, 2017 at 3:48 pm #133363
    Reply To: 2nd date help

    Hi, I don’t think there is anything wrong with you. Just might be no chemistry. I recently went on a date with a perfect guy! Super nice, good looking and our conversations just flowed…but the thing was no chemistry. He was such a great person, but I ended up letting him go. I didn’t want him to waste his time and go on a second date with me so I was just honest with him. I have also come to realize that there are a lot of uncertain people on dating sites. Unfortunately they may try to use you to try to figure themselves out. I would say keep a positive outlook and if you don’t get a second date then it probably wasn’t meant to be.