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1977GurrlParticipantNovember 1, 2016 at 7:11 pm #116087
I have loved this guy all my life and recently made a move. Unfortunately we are on opposite sides of the country. 🙁 Just curious what you think. Am I crazy? I know his kids would freak out. His eldest child is same age as me. But if we keep it a secret I think it will be ok right?
We really like each other.
student22ParticipantNovember 2, 2016 at 6:14 pm #116193
at the end of the day you should do what you think is best. but keeping it a secret could be hard if you are planning to have a long term rel with this man. and secrets do come out one way or another. would you be ok if you were “busted” being in a rel or would you feel better telling your close ones first? either way they will know. well…unless you guys can somehow manage to keep it a secret. thats risky. be careful!
JeanlouiseParticipantNovember 20, 2016 at 11:25 pm #117977
First of all, long distance dating does not keep you warm at night. You are not able to share day to day living and find out what one another does in different situations. You need to know someone in all those little ways, does a string of tangled Christmas lights blow his temper, etc. If you were to get to know him ( in all those day to day ways) and you are a great match, you need to look at your future and decide if you could with-stand possibly not having children because of age differences. Or the fact that he will in all probability die before you and how would you cope with the loss and financial ramifications. Keeping the relationship a secret is not a full relationship. If you have fully evaluated all of these questions and still think it is viable, see what at least a year of dating will bring. It is none of any ones business what you do with your life, but the probability of this relationship lasting is not good.
dddanseParticipantDecember 28, 2016 at 2:22 pm #121229
jeanlouise said it well…..here is the thing, at 67 he is set in his ways, even more so than you probably are at this point in life. Are you willing to conform to his way of life? I am 65 and find 67 year old men to want things a certain way and unwilling to change. And I remember being even more sexual at 39 than I am now and even at this point I can’t find an older man able to keep up with me. If you need a father figure and this man provides that for you at least go into this thing with open eyes.
AnonymousDecember 29, 2016 at 6:03 pm #121282
Well the issue I have with this is not so much the age gap, but the distance. I had a long distance relationship a state away from me, about an hour away but I lived some of the time at home and some of the time with her. She was actually in her 42 and I was 25 at the time. Now I am in late 30’s almost 40 years old and dating a women who is 50. So the age gap I don’t see as much as an issue as the long distance. If he lives on the opposite side of the country how can you date him? How can you do things like go to movies and dinners together? Going on vacations? Being intimate with him? living together? Etc. If it wasn’t for the distance I would say to try it, maybe it could work if you did a lot of flying.
bigal6193ParticipantJanuary 26, 2017 at 8:39 am #124568
I thought the standard rule was the youngest/eldest you should go is half/double your age +7, so 67 halved is 33, plus 7 is 40 – so you should just about be ok?!?
Nycgal40ParticipantJanuary 26, 2017 at 3:03 pm #124636
No way you are young enough to be this mans daughter or grand daughter. keeping this relationship a secret is not a relationship at all.
richiroParticipantJanuary 26, 2017 at 5:46 pm #124707
f rules.. they’re based on aribtrary nothings.
ok.. so i have a few equestions to ask. how much time have you spend in person together? whats the longest stretch you’ve spent in time together?
if you are thinkng of keeping it a secret to make it “ok” it’s probably doomed from the start. Why are you feeling you have to keep it a secret and how does that mak eit okay AFTER you move across the country?
how are you going to keep it a secet that you’re spending time with him especially if it’s a ft relationsihp? this i don’t udnersatnd
it sounds like there is a LOT not right here.
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