a "break" or "break up"

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a "break" or "break up"

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    allie120192
    Participant
    May 6, 2016 at 1:07 pm #99905
    a "break" or "break up"

    I’ve been dating a guy for a year and a half now. He’s everything I’ve ever wanted and a true gentlemen. We even had an engagement ring picked out. However, I got really stressed out because of a new job and wasn’t myself so he told me we needed to take a month or two break. I asked him if he would see other people and he said no, just meet new people, he wouldn’t be able to date anyone new for a long time. Well, a few days into the break I kept blowing up his phone and he got angry. He told me he just needed time and did want to start fresh down the road. However, a few days later my friend found him on tinder. His profile said he just wanted to meet new people (friends) and have a good time. I wrote him a 15 page letter after this and reminded him of all the memories we had. He wrote back and said it was very emotional for him to read and we would see each other again. He has my diamond bracelet and said he will give it back when ready. Is this truly a break or a break up?


    Anonymous
    May 6, 2016 at 4:19 pm #99922

    let him have his break…. go have your own break as well. stop bombarding him with phone calls and 15 page (wtf) letters reminding him of the good times. he knows you love him, he remembers the good times. sometimes a man needs time and space to himself and if he’s using this time to “meet” other people, let him. if you both agreed the “break” is necessary, give it some time. pick up a new hobby, do a workout class, learn something new. the point is stay busy and focused on doing whats best for you. the bombardment of phone calls, 15 page letters only scream insecurity…. and insecurity is not an attractive quality a man is looking for in his woman. take care of yourself during this time.when you treat yourself with love and respect others will too and when a woman loves and respects herself she attracts a man that is willing to do the same for her. confidence is key here. stay confident in yourself and hope for the best prepare for the worst. xx


    Oryeth
    Participant
    May 8, 2016 at 12:13 pm #99956

    I think its truly a break. Try to stop messaging him and do something in your own life, i know this difficult but try your best.. good luck x


    pinksparkless
    Participant
    May 11, 2016 at 9:28 am #100108

    A break


    RyanMlove
    Participant
    May 11, 2016 at 5:33 pm #100115

    The more you overthink it, the worse it will get. Let him have what he wants and respect it. This way he knows that you can be without him even if it is just a break. Do not beg him or talk him out of that a lot as you will look desperate.


    mschaaff
    Participant
    May 11, 2016 at 7:10 pm #100248

    Hello everyone. Glade to see all you guys here and supporting each other.

    HeavenSlum
    HeavenSlum
    Participant
    May 11, 2016 at 11:10 pm #100249

    He should have been more supportive when you were stressed about the new job. If he’s just going to bail on you when you need him, why stay with him? You sound like a loving person and you deserve better.

    • This reply was modified 1 year, 5 months ago by HeavenSlum HeavenSlum.
    May 11, 2016 at 11:23 pm #100252

    I agree with HeavenSlum. I also personally think that he’s trying to sugarcoat his true feelings which is he’s bored or overwhelmed with you and he wants out. It sucks, I know. But, he’s on tinder already which means he’s already got one foot into the “breakup” door. On a break you don’t go and get on tinder. He’s already entertaining other possibilities and looking to see what’s out there. A position you do not deserve to be in! You’re better than that. Walk away like he did. Go dating like he is. Do your own thing. It sucks but you have to. Also, go out and get the book Why Men Love Bitches. It’s like the Bible on how to keep a man in love with you. Good luck!


    californiablonde
    Participant
    May 17, 2016 at 8:24 pm #100693

    I do agree with the other posters that it is most likely a break. So far he hasn’t done anything that would truly prove otherwise. The information on his tinder account also supports this, at least on the face of it. He told you he doesn’t want to date other people but that he does want to socialize which is kind of like a back-door entrance to finding a new option. It does not mean that he will necessarily leave but it means he’s considering where he stands.If you continue to push you are not likely to like the results. Until you have a real reason to believe otherwise you can either sit back and weight patiently or decide that you do not want to wait at all. It not fun and there is not much else to do right. Use the break as an opportunity to do things you want to do. Who knows maybe you might find someone better along the way. Be strong in yourself.