A Little Lost… Complicated Friend/Relationship Situation

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A Little Lost… Complicated Friend/Relationship Situation

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    dsw68
    Participant
    May 21, 2017 at 10:55 pm #137113
    A Little Lost… Complicated Friend/Relationship Situation

    Background story (1/2): I’ve known this girl for 4+ years now since start of high school, and through those HS years we were very great friends, involving many late night text convos. Now that I think back there were many “cute” moments we had together and I did feel like she was hinting at relationships more than a few times but I simply saw her as a friend, and she also never stated intentions in that time. I was likely the closest guy to her in this regard. Now, we both go to the same University, different programs. We talked as usual through the 1st few months of University but gradually we had limited contact to the point where starting texts with her feel somewhat random/awkward now; not the kind of “charm” as it was before University. I started to miss her company and really started to see us as more than friends. Through these past 8 months I’ve been the one texting 1st and she doesn’t seem as engaged in replying; so far 2 failed attempts at getting her to meet up in winter.


    dsw68
    Participant
    May 21, 2017 at 11:13 pm #137115

    (2/2)I want to catch up and state my feelings/intentions at the end. In the 2nd semester, I did have some progress in getting substantial convos and did see her regularly though usually with her girl friends; never the right place/time. It eventually fell back to the stale text convos from earlier. It got to the point where I felt like a weird stalker f**k so I forced myself not to see/contact her for 2 full months. It’s now summer and I finally decided to text her just to briefly reconnect, and the resulting convo was more of the same cloudy staleness. I intend to ask her to meet for some bubble tea next week to really catch up, and already started to plan what to do should this fall flat too. To sum up my intentions: “I’ve missed talking with you for the last while, and see us as more than friends, but if not I hope we could be friends as we were before”. At this point all I want is the chance to see her 1-on-1 and say this properly; be able to either move forward or move on.

    lovie4you
    lovie4you
    Participant
    May 22, 2017 at 12:24 am #137131

    You have very good intentions and what you said you are on the right track. The real problem is when you was seeing her in High Scool for 4 years and now your both are in college. You see college is different than High School people tend to think differently you should have gone for her when she was hinting around it might have been a lot different. By now probably she made a lot of new friends you need to stand out from the crowd but don’t embarrass your shelf.You need to get her attention you need to show her you want to be with her more than just friends I hope it works out for you two.


    dsw68
    Participant
    May 22, 2017 at 9:36 am #137120

    (3) My main plan should she say no to meeting up again is, as much as I hate to have to escalate/make drama, to reveal my this story to one of her best girl friends who I happen to be good friends with too (no romantic feelings), and ask for her advice… This is really my last case move, as desperate and overthinking as I may seem now. All I want is the chance to say it; it’s been on my mind for far too long with no significant development and feel like I have nothing to lose. Remembering how close we were not “so” long ago, I cannot understand how meeting her after the disconnection would be this hard.

    NISMO1
    NISMO1
    Participant
    May 22, 2017 at 9:46 am #137130

    I’m in a fairly similar situation. It’s tough. Is your goal to be in a serious relationship with her, or merely to regain the conversations you were once having together?


    dsw68
    Participant
    May 22, 2017 at 10:48 am #137208

    Pretty much, I want to gain back the conversations we were once having, and let her know how I feel about her in person. With the situation now I just want to see her; and we are both rational people so even if she said yes, we wouldn’t jump in right away; I would want to go back to seeing her regularly and after some official dates then we could see if it’s worth balancing the relationship with school and all else.
    The only problem is I don’t think she wants to see me anymore, and I can’t seem to figure what I did/said in the past 8 months to make it the way it is now (I feel there’s more to my desperation/weirdness I showed than simply not connecting for the long school year). My real question is, is my last resort of telling her best girl friend about it going to help? It’s been on my mind for too long without moving forward any way; so I just want to get it over with at this point.


    PlzHelp
    Participant
    May 24, 2017 at 2:50 pm #137512

    Maybe she found another guy.