Accidentally Made Myself Seem Disinterested??

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Accidentally Made Myself Seem Disinterested??

    Author
    Comments
  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    October 10, 2017 at 9:47 am FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

    Hey DatingAdvice.com forum readers! Just a quick heads up that a few dating sites are offering a FREE trial to DatingAdvice forum readers. Try it now and meet local singles in just a few minutes! Here are the sites:

    Site Who You'll Meet Today's Deal
    Match.com Casual dating for ages 18-65 Get FREE access
    Elite Singles Educated professionals 25 and older Get FREE access
    AFF.com Hookups, casual encounters Get FREE access

    What are you waiting for? One mouse click could be all that stands between you and your next romance!


    NeverDated
    Participant
    June 10, 2017 at 3:31 am #139124
    Accidentally Made Myself Seem Disinterested??

    Being concise to save space:

    – Me: 21, recently out of The bi closet to a lot of my friends, never been on a date with a guy before (although not a virgin), and find this guy VERY attractive in romantic sense. Although still closeted to my family, they think he and I are dating.
    – This guy and I were vaguely acquainted as kids, but it’s been about eight years since we last spoke. Him: out since HS.
    – Reconnected and had a great time getting drinks, flirted a little bit, and have been hanging out fairly regularly until I f’ed up and made myself seem disinterested (also fucked his best friend; “my guy” is open about being a hoe himself, so not a big issue I THINK – could be wrong); now he doesn’t text first anymore.
    – I am in town another couple weeks; this should be one of many cases where I crush my romantic feelings and run away, but I like him a lot.
    – How do I let him know I am interested without being weird? How do I discretely gauge his interest w/out revealing my own?


    NeverDated
    Participant
    June 10, 2017 at 3:36 am #139125

    The main issue here, I guess, is that I don’t want to leave town without him knowing I like him so that maybe that door can at least still be open (assuming he is also potentially interested in me, or at least enough to give it a try) in case we end up living in the same area soon. He and I are both leaving our hometown as soon as we are able (me in the next couple weeks to go back where I went to college, he to try to go where there is a strong film industry). The whole thing is very complicated and, frankly, stupid, because we aren’t even meant to live in the same place, but I guess since he is the first guy I have ever liked enough to see myself dating him, I don’t want to have fucked that up beyond possibility of getting together in any way.

    labradoodle14
    labradoodle14
    Participant
    June 12, 2017 at 9:17 am #139140

    If you’re getting drinks you are already in there. Just say, “Hey lets get drinks”, and get it done before you town, otherwise you’re just going to be seeing a lot of JILL.

    richiro
    richiro
    Participant
    June 12, 2017 at 11:02 am #139240

    hmmmm… why would you f his best friend if you’re into him? I think you need to look inside yourself and ask yourself what’s really going on here and what’s what? I doubt anything can go on here since you slept with his best friend. that just DOESN’T work with guys. sorry.

    as for how to communicate if your goal is “let him know I’m into him before I go” – you tell him. there is no “sly way” to do that and ENSURE he gets the message without putting your neck on the line. sorry. that’s true for any of us.

    So either “woman up” and do it, or make your peace and realize you f’d this one up and move on.


    NeverDated
    Participant
    June 28, 2017 at 3:00 pm #140863

    Well, I fucked it up. Sleeping with his best friend wasn’t a problem, and then I ended up sleeping with the guy I like as well, and just when I was getting up the courage to tell him I like him, I saw a post on social media saying he has a boyfriend. So the issues I thought were issues were not the problem, but I was too slow and missed my chance. I am meeting his boyfriend soon, though, but this will be the first time in over a week I have gotten to speak with the friend I still like despite his new relationship status, so I’m just going to have to get over him.


    donni
    Participant
    August 14, 2017 at 3:23 pm #145431

    If you did his best friend he could be upset about that. Don’t worry about if he doesn’t text first, you have some shit to straighten out with him. Put on your big girl panties and tell him you’d like to talk. Maybe you can straighten this mess out by talking to him.