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[amorrowParticipant]

July 11, 2016 at 6:51 pm #104913

adult children moving home

I am 50 y/o women, have been dating a 52 y/o man for 2 1/2 yrs. When we first met, his daughter, her husband and an 8 y/o son from the husbands previous marriage were living with him…. a year later they moved out. A few months after that, his elderly mother had a hip replacement, and moved in with him to recover…a 1 1/2 yrs later, she finally moved out. Has been about 5 months…now his daughter, age 27, is splitting up from her husband and my BF invited her and her 1 y/o son to live with him. She has an education, a school teacher and said they would get an apartment, but he said no to live with him. I do have 2 children, age 19 and 22, both in college.

My questions is this…why does it bother me that he invited them to live with him? Even though she has a good job and could support herself? I’m sure he will not take any money from her for this arrangement, but I really don’t think that is what’s bothering me. We finally were getting some time alone.

[loretta1228Participant]

August 24, 2016 at 8:57 am #109365

The sense I am getting from the way that you described it, is that you might believe that he is purposely avoiding the time alone with you. Not that anything is wrong in the relationship, but sometimes one person in the relationship avoids focusing their efforts fully on the relationship for several reasons. He may be feeling uncomfortable and unsure of himself or maybe avoiding focusing on the relationship because he feels that too much of a focus on the relationship will make him feel like he will need to make a commitment of some type before he is ready.

Having an honest discussion of how you are feeling may alievate your anxiety about the situation. It will also give him the opportunity to express what he is feeling as well. A lot of relationships have difficulties because both individuals are not on the same page about the relationship or does not know what the other wants. This can lead to a lot of assumptions.