Advice for a Man – Friends with Benefits

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Advice for a Man – Friends with Benefits

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    Sandje
    Participant
    July 2, 2015 at 6:27 pm #81950
    Advice for a Man – Friends with Benefits

    So, being a typical man that doesn’t always understand you beautiful ladies, I figured I’d come to you for advice. I recently got involved with a co-worker. We took the day off of work together & had a very romantic time. We decided to be ‘friends with benefits’, and ended up kissing. Later on she asked me back to her place to cash in a ‘massage’ ticket I gave her (long story), and I said no. I had nowhere to be, but we drank a lot and I didnt want to take advantage of her. I didnt tell her that. I left it as, ‘next time’ we go out you can use it. Would that upset you? How do I recover? Recently, her job has gotten much more stressful. We talk on IM at work (maybe too much), and all she wants to do is vent to me. She is not as flirtatious with me, but wants to vent. a LOT. Is she losing romantic interest? Maybe just very comfortable with me? Maybe just negative in general? My goal is to stay out of the friend zone here. I’d love to have a back and forth, this is a busy story. Ask away!


    Elenaki
    Participant
    July 3, 2015 at 5:49 pm #81976

    Hm, firstly, I’d be very careful about having any kind of a “benefitty” situation with a co-worker. I’ve had those experiences, and if it doesn’t work out, the aftermath can be really uncomfortable and affect work afterwards for at least one of the parties.
    If that does not dissuade you, how about simply asking her out again, and letting her know you are ready to use the massage ticket? Or just saying that you are a gradual person, but you would like to at some point.


    veronicalewis
    Participant
    July 7, 2015 at 11:48 pm #82199

    I think she feels very confused about the whole situation. And you are obviously as well. I would relax a little, let her as well and let her come to you and she will tell you what she needs to tell you. If she doesn’t, she doesn’t-don’t take it personally(she might have realised whatever she wants to talk about, isn’t that much of a big deal). Depending on what she tells you, then you gauge from there.