Advice for getting back with ex. boyfriend

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Advice for getting back with ex. boyfriend

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    heather2050
    Participant
    January 5, 2017 at 7:23 pm #121969
    Advice for getting back with ex. boyfriend

    Looking for advice on how to reconnect with my ex-ish boyfriend over the weekend.

    He broke up with me two weeks ago, but sees us still having a future, even if just as friends. It was real weird and out of nowhere, but I feel like he is having second thoughts. He’s older and he can’t bring me around his family, and was really upset that his siblings and son and nieces and nephews were with their significant others on Christmas and he couldn’t be with me. It’s something he and I would need to discuss and work on if we were to get back together. Then he broke up with me on the 26th, so I feel like it was on impulse.

    Anyway, I hung out with him for a bit yesterday, and I feel like if I play my cards right, I can get some sex in and that’d help us patch things up, or at least put us in the right direction.

    The last time he and I hung out before the breakup, we had a bit of a disconnect. We went into the city and we were fooling around in different restaurants and bars, but when it came


    heather2050
    Participant
    January 5, 2017 at 7:23 pm #121970

    The last time he and I hung out before the breakup, we had a bit of a disconnect. We went into the city and we were fooling around in different restaurants and bars, but when it came time to go home, he wasn’t in a sexual mood (whiskey d**k). He was gonna take me home, but I was a little irritated because I was all worked up. He took me to his place and grudgingly got me off.

    How should I approach seeing him this weekend? I still have stuff at his place. Should I use that as an excuse? Tell him how much I miss him without bringing up anything sexual?


    AcesDJD
    Participant
    January 6, 2017 at 8:13 am #121974

    How old are you? You sound a little sex obsessed. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but I’m not sure if its the best point to base a ltr relationship on. Even if you find a guy with a high drive, he may get bored with your body or things can change dramatically after a pregnancy. If its super important to you though, you may want to find a younger guy who’s always in the mood.

    As for the approach, I would just give him a few days (enough time to miss you, but not enough time to move on) and then be honest that you miss him and would like to meet. Men see through the need to pick up stuff angle, although if he really likes you it won’t matter I guess.


    Anonymous
    January 17, 2017 at 11:28 pm #123366

    You got to learn to let go… best advice can give because I use to have same problem, not learning to let go. It is easy to rationalize the situation away and make things out in your head to be better than they are, but the facts are the facts and you got to look at the facts and not make judgements on your feelings. Imagine a friend came to you and told you this same story, what would you say to the friend? Would you tell the friend that you honestly think this is something that will work out? You got step back look at things from a rational perspective and not let your feelings cloud your judgment. I don’t mean to hurt your feelings, but being honest is really the best thing for you. He is gone, only will be just a friend. Time to let go and move on.

    richiro
    richiro
    Participant
    January 18, 2017 at 9:16 pm #123584

    there aren’t a lot of positive signs here i’m afriad to say. it sounds like the basis for this “relaitonship” is sex and primarily on your side. You DO have to handle things as far as getting your stuff from his place so you MUST do that yes – but don’t try to use it to get sex. That will ruin any thread left of any hope you have.

    PLay it cool on this one. Because obviously pushing it hasn’t worked. so time for a new strategy.

    but i can’t promise he’ll want you back – there really isn’t anything you can do to “make him want you back”. and pushing it, again, is the worst thing you can do. so go get your things back, stay cool, and just see it as it goes. For the time being don’t take any get togethers as signs he wants you back – it sounds like he’s struggling in the aftermath too (that’s just human nature – don’t read into it).

    the real truth will come months and years down the road – not days and weeks. so just play it cool and let it play out OVER TIME..

    Good luck.