Advice from ladies please!

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Advice from ladies please!

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    Xillax
    Xillax
    Participant
    February 7, 2015 at 2:04 pm #72818
    Advice from ladies please!

    Not sure how to start this of. Id never thought id join a forum for this but i felt it necessary.
    My topic is no different from others, so any help would be much appreciated.

    So ive known this girl who i will name as Mary, for 2 years now. We have met before those 2 yearz but they were small convos, it wasnt until those 2 years when we started hanging out. We have been going out at least once or twice a .month. we have had interesting conversations and she always seems to have good time with me. She is 21 and im 25. A quick background of us, we both still live with our parents, she graduated from a beauty school but its been some months now and hasnt done anything with it. She rarely goes out clubbing, and i only know she has 3 friends, 2 who are girls and 1 guy from a different state. Her parents are quite strict but they have let me take her out because they trust me and so does she.

    Anyways, the first time we exchanged numbers we would text everyday, essays/paragraphs..

    Xillax
    Xillax
    Participant
    February 7, 2015 at 2:12 pm #72819

    …etc. I have taken her out to movies, food, all the nice general stuff. She’s offered to pay many times and she does every now and then just to let her feel okay. But after a year or so, she has started to text less, and now it’s more of a 1-4 day hiatus. I understand that she may be busy with work or anything in general. No problem. Her birthday, i have given her gifts and shes done the same. This past January i asked her what her thoughts on us becoming a couple were..her reply was this: “I’m not sure, i feel safe hanging out with you, you’re fun and interesting…im not sure, I dont have have an answer but when i do, i will let you know.”
    So that’s fine.

    I suppose by now, we are indeed friend…but now “friends” has a new meaning here. I’m not sure if I should continue being friends with her.
    She texts a lot less now, and when she does, I reply within a 5-9min period. Then she just doesnt reply after that.
    The most recent example one from yesterday…

    Xillax
    Xillax
    Participant
    February 9, 2015 at 8:51 am #72820

    On Feb 1st, I replied to her. I then asked her simple questions, easy enough to reply in 10min or less. Until yesterday, I finally got her replies. She always says “sorry for the late replies.” “super sorry! ive been busy with work.” ..same ones. this time it was “sorry, i was helping my sis with hw and work. lol” ….
    at this point one would say “well, at least she replies.” …yeah, but 6-7 days later? What kind of friend is that?

    So now, im here, asking for advice..even if its not a dating advice, i already know thats a broken bridge. But as “friends”…should i also wait 6-7 days to reply?? If i do that, then i am no better than her..i would be the same as her.

    So, what would you all suggest?
    What halts me from doing so, is the gifts she gave me for my birthday and christmas: a neat red mug with santa/reindeer on it, a bookmark from Egypt she got from a museum (she thought of me atm), and a book of a series that she beat me to. Wonderful and meaningful gifts. Help plz. 😛

    Xillax
    Xillax
    Participant
    February 9, 2015 at 8:52 am #72823

    I cant finish the story since it’s telling me I’ve duplicated it? Lol anyways, long story short, i texted her 7 days ago, and now she finally replied back stating she was busy with work and helping her sister with homework. ….i dont know anymore.


    heuveygirl
    Participant
    February 12, 2015 at 12:50 pm #73301

    Hi Xillax!! Sorry for your troubles but right off the bat let me say, she is no longer a friend. Anyone who loves another as a friend will ALWAYS take a minute to say hi. No one is that busy that they do not have a minute in a weeks time to say hello and answer a text. No one. She is blowing you off and hoping you will go away. No idea why and she is the only person that can answer that but I can tell you from experience as a woman, that is exactly what she is doing. I know this sucks and I know you want her in your life but there isn’t anything you can do to make that happen. My advice is this: Text or call and tell her that you love her and value her friendship but refuse to be treated this way, that you will be waiting for a while for her to talk but you will not wait forever. If she is interested she will contact you, if she does not then you have your answer. Please know that you deserve better and get on with your life!! Find someone who will appreciate you…….