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BrixdavrParticipantMarch 4, 2015 at 3:06 pm #74748
Hi folks, first of all thank you. I could really used some of your advice, right now. Here’s why
I’ve been dating this girl for about 5 months now. We met through mutual friends. We really connected and we already acted like a real couple. But, here’s a problem. She’s been hanging out with this guy she met through mutual friends as well. I also met the guy, not going to lie he’s nice. Anyways, I’m not really a jealous guy, but for some reason evrytime I hear his name my chest started to tighten up. I already confronted the girl about this situation. She says that, the guy is just friendly. He’s just looking for a new friend. Info about the guy: he just moved in town last month. But my problem is that the guy invited her twice at his apartment by just by themselves. For me that’s big no. Even her friends said that’s not cool. But, she kept saying to me, “To trust her” cuz she trust me. Idk what to do? Should I let it go? Not trying to be needy, but I need reassurance. Thank you!!!
FmasterParticipantMarch 5, 2015 at 1:38 am #74781
First of all i want you to know that it’s totally normal to feel like that. We men are supporters and the worse thing a girl who is using your support can do is to go for someone else. i applaud the fact that you don’t want to act needy, that’s a big advantage itself.
My advice to you is that you do the same, have some female friends around, make some new friends and see her jumping back at you !
Don’t chase her, let her chase you.
AlexFParticipantMarch 5, 2015 at 4:26 pm #74832
I am not sure if wether or not you made this girl your life, but you need to do other things also. One thing i recommend is having multiple friends which are girls all the time. For a girl to put her self in a situation where something could happen is a little odd. Also she did say trust her and I don’t know how solid is the relationship, so that depends how much do you trust her? I also give you props on being honest with her, but remember do not make a girl a priority in life.
sahm15ParticipantMarch 5, 2015 at 9:34 pm #74870
i’m not a guy. i wonder, if you completely disregard this other guy question — are the two of you doing well as a couple? Is she there for you when you need her? Is she kind and understanding? Do you feel good when you are with her?
I know the better it feels to be with someone, i suppose the more we fear losing it… but i think how it feels when the two of you are together, and whether she is available to you (not choosing to spend time with this other guy instead of you), is what matters.
At some level everyone is being unfaithful in their minds — making eye contact or wondering about others, it’s just natural. I’d say really focus on how the 2 of you are together when you are together and know that you will worry, we all worry, some “mindfulness” meditation type approaches help accept the worries, not fight them not believe them or let them get you too emotionally worked up. worries are not real, the future is not real, only what is happening in this moment is real.
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