ADVICE newly single, dates with girl began well but have waned…

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ADVICE newly single, dates with girl began well but have waned…

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    jdoug91
    Participant
    November 30, 2017 at 1:39 am #157824
    ADVICE newly single, dates with girl began well but have waned…

    Hi I’m 26, fairly good looking, confident-ish with a good job and decent self respect. I feel a bit boring and lacking in spark. Probably something to do with the recent breakdown of my four year relationship.

    Anyway I started seeing this girl who’s a couple of years younger than me, Uni student, just finished exams into partying, socialising and just generally loving life. Quite opposite to my situation at the moment. We’ve been on about three dates and kissed at the end of everyone. She seemed quite interested but things have started to drop off. Gaps between text messages got longer. Time between seeing each other got longer because she was busy or I was. It’s sort of petering out.

    My gut is telling me it’s because she’s just lost interest. But I’m wondering if I can salvage the situation. Should I leave it and wait for her to make the next move or be more aggressive?
    I’ve been out of the game for too long to know and am really just after a outside perspective.

    • This topic was modified 2 weeks, 3 days ago by  jdoug91.
    Shannon
    Shannon
    Participant
    November 30, 2017 at 2:08 am #157826

    Hi Jdoug91,

    I can hear it’s a confusing situation. How do you feel about her? Do you want to get to know her more? Are you wanting to find a lasting love relationship or something more casual? Women appreciate honesty in this area. I would also highly recommend you call her a woman, not a girl as you seem like a mature young man with some self awareness and knowledge of where you are going in life. Calling women who you want to date women, not girls, even when they cannot hear you, calls them to step up into a place of power in their own lives and you can create something beautiful together if she’s stepping up in that way and interested.

    I think neither option, of leaving the next move to her, or being more aggressive are productive. I would wait a few days, then offer to meet up with her and have some honest communication around what you are both looking for, build the friendship and see where is goes form there! Good luck!