Advice welcome from people…

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Advice welcome from people…

    Author
    Comments
  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    October 10, 2017 at 10:27 pm FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

    Hey DatingAdvice.com forum readers! Just a quick heads up that a few dating sites are offering a FREE trial to DatingAdvice forum readers. Try it now and meet local singles in just a few minutes! Here are the sites:

    Site Who You'll Meet Today's Deal
    Match.com Casual dating for ages 18-65 Get FREE access
    Elite Singles Educated professionals 25 and older Get FREE access
    AFF.com Hookups, casual encounters Get FREE access

    What are you waiting for? One mouse click could be all that stands between you and your next romance!

    MrSSamsung
    MrSSamsung
    Participant
    November 13, 2014 at 7:02 pm #67562
    Advice welcome from people…

    I wanted an external view to the problem I’m having with trying to find/attract/date women… and I mean MAJOR problem.

    When I was younger (starting at about 15 or 16) I suffered a crippling period of shyness… not sure what caused it, but I do know it took many years to push it back to the point I could begin to meet new people. This left a mammoth sized gap in my (adult) understanding of people.

    This has left me much older and inexperienced, particularly with approaching women and showing interest in them in a way that is welcomed. As soon as I see a women I like the look of now I automatically give out signals from afar that I can tell from their body language that most of them do not welcome.

    It’s either they don’t find me attractive and if they did they wouldn’t mind… or I’m breaking a social law by showing any behavior that may signal interest before I’ve spoken to them. I’m not rude or inappropriate by the way. I guess I’m a bit socially awkward still though

    MrSSamsung
    MrSSamsung
    Participant
    November 14, 2014 at 8:29 am #67563

    So, alas… it’s feeling like I don’t have a lot of chance left to meet someone. Some do show solid interest. Even, one had a crush on me from my last employment. But for some crazy reason they are always just the ones I really don’t/can’t find attractive in the least… and It’s like I’ve been dumped randomly into a computer game with all the settings on ultra hard and impossible mode… I naturally keep getting game over…. whilst I can’t help but notice those around me (my friends and siblings) playing the same game on super easy. I’m happy for them and their success… but it does act as a very poor bench mark for my own performance. I’d like to brush it off.. problem is I’m genetically programmed by nature to care a lot… as are we all.


    harvestr64
    Participant
    November 15, 2014 at 3:45 pm #67615

    Yeah, I’m with you.
    We have the same problem, don’t let it fester too long. You will end up old and out of touch.
    I’m 50 now, and see all kinds of attractive women online. But they all seem so dense and self absorbed, even at this stage of life.
    And the women who are sane and have it together expect my financial status to be top shelf, which it’s not.
    I’ve never been a master of small talk, or superfluous topics.
    I’m usually pegged for being gay, since I like to cook and keep myself well groomed.
    Of course that also is due to the fact that I live in flyover country.
    Just got to get back out there.

    MrSSamsung
    MrSSamsung
    Participant
    November 16, 2014 at 8:13 am #67633

    It’s odd because it started really promising too… at age 15 I could begin to see girls reacting differently towards me… I breathed a premature sigh of relief. Then got hit by the major shyness thing and was unable to be in a room with people without suffering and feeling under extreme pressure. I remember (doing my A levels back in the late 90s) I used to keep my eyes fixed on my desk to avoid the possibility I might catch a glance of someone else’s eye. I used to just escape and go off on my own… really I should have been having psychological help. It may have been post tramatic stress disorder to bullying. Instead I pushed myself back from that over the next decade plus… now the feeling is there only in the background. I am more in control. So now i can give out signals to a women… but without the early learning experiences of early adult hood I make all the mistakes a young boy would probably make… For that is actually my level of experience in that arena.