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queencrimsonParticipantJuly 4, 2013 at 12:41 pm #34858
My story is really funny, but I can’t wrap my mind around it, so I’m going to give you all the details about it.
For the last three weeks there are protests against the government in my country.
Two weeks ago a boy who I’ve known since almost a year, but never actually spent much time with, wrote to me on fb, because he saw me on one of the protests. He’s a friend of my ex (the break up was in March) and actually has tried to make contact with me as early as April (he invited me to a party, but I refused). On the next day, right after I have gotten home after yet another protest, the same boy called me. It was 11:40 pm and he was inviting me for a walk. Normally, I’d never agree to something like that, but it’s exams time at uni, I was high from the adrenaline of being on the protest and truthfully, I needed a late night walk around the city to get my head fresh.
The walk was really, really nice. We spent it talking about everything. We listened to music from my phone (we share almost the same taste for music). I was at home at 4.30 am and honestly, I didn’t have any idea how fast time had passed. It was like we discovered some kind of instant connection.
The next day he called me again, inviting me to go with him on the protest. We went together and after that spent some time in a nice bar. We walked around the city, too and it was really nice again.
The boy is very, very crazy, he changes his opinions in a minute (for example he spent his first student year abroad, then come back to our country, and now is planning to go abroad in the fall again)and he’s not serious at all – and I’ve always known that. He also is very keen on alcohol and light drugs… We are like water and fire, because I rarely drink anything other then water, haha, and because I’m really reasonable in my decisions and actions. But the hours we spent together felt so right and nice, and he was acting so adequate, that I kinda dismissed everything I know about him.
On the third night we kissed… I just felt like it, and I didn’t mind at all when he put his hand around my shoulders and then pulled me closer to him (we were listening to music again in a beautiful spot behind the old Palace of the tzar in our city). Then, when we stand up to go for a walk, he held my hand in his.
In just a matter of days he completely changed his plans. He finished his exams earlier then me, but instead of going back to his hometown as he had planned, he stayed in my city and sent his documents to a law firm to get an internship for the summer… He also asked his cousin to come here (the initial plan was the two of them to see each other in their hometown). After that first kiss, we spent the next seven nights together, and it really felt like dating – waking around the city, holding hands and talking about everything or sharing a comfortable silence. He’d kiss me for hello and then not kiss me at all until we’d say our goodbyes in front of my house. It was all so gentleman like and nice (thought the goodbye kiss typically would be really long, if you know what I mean :d).
All of this really felt too sudden, but also so right in its own way.
At the same time he made some blunders. For example, he had told me that he’s decided to take a little break from getting high and that he’s been clean for two weeks and he was waiting for his cousin to come here to get high again. But just 4-5 days after we started dating, he got high with another friend of his and was so drunk that he got asleep on my shoulder in a caffe we were sitting… My initial reaction was to get up and go home (after all, we’re not really a couple yet and he already shows me how getting wasted is more important than spending time with me), but I couldn’t make myself do it, so I let him sleep and after 20 minutes gently woke him up to sent him home, so that he could get a rest…
Last Saturday we saw each other at my place and though it was too late for so much intimacy, we proceeded to have sex. Well, it didn’t happen – because he apparently got drunk before that and he wasted the condom in his attempts to put it on… But still, there was a lot of nakedness and so on, haha. The same night I couldn’t help myself and I asked him if we are together, because everything happened so fast and I’m not sure what’s going on – and he said that yes, we are a couple. But I suppose that somehow he got scared about the perspective of seriousness so early… Also, I’ve been with only one boy before him and he knows that, so he’s fully aware that I’m not up to something not serious. At least, I’m not ready to only casually sleep with different boys and choosing him to be my second boy might have scared him.
On Sunday there was a party in the house of one of my friends and he agreed the two of us plus his cousin to go there. It was kinda boring in the beginning and it was also clear the he and his cousin had shared a lot of alcohol before it… At one time another boy offered to smoke a joint and almost everybody agreed. And… after the boy I was with got high, he just disappeared… He apparently decided to go home without telling anybody, but forgot his keys with us… I called him to see what’s happening (he was high after all) and on my words: “You forgot your keys here”, he only answered: “Well…” and closed. He then never answered my callings and only sent a lot of sms to his cousin, all about asking him to get his keys and go after him. The cousin didn’t have any money for a taxi… It was all so surreal and absurd, and I was so pissed and sad, because no boy ever has done anything similar to me. In the end, the cousin himself offered me to let the boy stay in front of his place without keys for a while, so the two of us stayed on the party another hour and then we get a taxi, which I payed. The taxi got me first to my place and then the cousin to the place of this boy…
I expected that the next day I’d get a call from the boy, or at least some kind of saying sorry, but nothing like that happened. I even wrote to him on skype, I couldn’t restrained myself from doing it, haha. Still nothing. He just disappeared.
I know that he’s an and even if he had said sorry, it would be better still not to start going out with him again. But I just can’t wrap my mind around the whole story – how is it possible to spent some nice days with a girl, to tell her that you like her since the day you saw her (it was a year ago and I was still dating my ex, when he saw me for the first time…) and then, in just one night to cut all contact with her. And the most ridiculous thing is that he is the one that made a major epic fail, getting high and disappearing from the party, but still I was ready to accept it – but he’s lack of communication in the days after that is what confused me and bugged me.
Any opinions? Any ideas as of why a boy would act like that?
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