After The First Date

DATING ADVICE FORUM

After The First Date

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    katzintheclouds
    katzintheclouds
    Participant
    August 27, 2015 at 9:36 pm #84891
    After The First Date

    Hi everyone.
    Just some quick need for advice. I started using a dating site and ended up finding someone I liked and initiating a conversation. He responded, was excited and we ended up texting then meeting for dinner. He was super sweet, paid for dinner, very complimentary, fantastic manors. At the end of the night he walked me to my car & even kissed me goodnight. When I got home we spoke a little through texting, I expressed how good of a time I had which he agreed he had a good time too. The following day I reached out, talked again a little but he was a bit more distant and vague. Eventually I mentioned the idea of another date & that I’d be interested in meeting again but he never wrote back. I’m very confused because I thought things went really well & now I’m not sure if I should try to reach back out again or if he just isn’t into it. Am I missing something?


    Kellyrose
    Participant
    August 31, 2015 at 8:38 am #84920

    Yup…typical women mistake:
    You stated first that you had a good time…
    you reached out to him
    You mentioned the next date

    Men are hunters, men like the feeling to conquer, but you turned it around. Not sure if you got a shot but try to distract yourself and do not ever write him again. He knows you like him, he put you on the back burner. He knows he just needs to call and you will be happy to see him. Men like mysteries. Do not play a game, do not be fake or pretend to be hard to get but also do not make it to easy on men.

    Good Luck..you look so pretty..you sure will find someone else!

    katzintheclouds
    katzintheclouds
    Participant
    September 2, 2015 at 9:38 pm #85031

    Thank you for writing back! Crazy enough, things turned miraculously around after a wrote this. We’ve been texting & talking on the phone now everyday, more and more through the day & we’ve scheduled another date this weekend. I then caught myself worrying about him being married (he lives two hours away) and other crazy things but it’s all hogwash. I think I just am having a hard time believing someone I like would like me back, I’ve been in such shitty relationships in the past I’m having a hard time understanding this notion of actual good chemistry & officially dating someone worth my time! We’re meeting this weekend so hopefully all will continue to go well. Thanks again!


    moonlight20
    Participant
    September 3, 2015 at 12:25 pm #85074

    May be he is also in confusing to take decision for himself, whether he will be engaged or not. But if you really like to continue, just keep on touch if possible, hoping you will get expected result.


    Anonymous
    September 5, 2015 at 2:11 pm #85152

    yes he is confused……

    katzintheclouds
    katzintheclouds
    Participant
    September 8, 2015 at 11:42 am #85212

    Well to update, we’ve gone out again and actually spent the weekend together. All signs point to him being very interested, he’s extremely sweet & affectionate, easy to talk to, very attentive. The distance between us is a concern but I’m trying to remind myself that if it was a problem, he wouldn’t have introduced the idea to begin with. I think I am just dealing with my fears as I have been hurt so many times in the past that in my mind I’m almost waiting for him to not pan out. That’s sad, and I need to change it. We’ve had a wonderful weekend, I still am nervous just based on how things will continue to unfold but hopefully it will all continue to be good. Cross your fingers!

    katzintheclouds
    katzintheclouds
    Participant
    September 8, 2015 at 11:44 am #85240

    To update everyone, things have continued to blossom and we’ve had more positive interactions. We’ve been talking through the week, and just recently spent the weekend together. I’m still nervous but he’s giving me all the signs that he’s enjoying where we are and what’s happening. I wish there was some easy way to ask how he feels about things without coming across like a crazy lady but I know there aren’t. So I’m trying to just play it cool and see how things go. I’m worried about where I stand and how he feels but I don’t want to come out and ask him “hey, what gives, do you like me or what??”. Ugh!!


    lachrymose
    Participant
    September 14, 2015 at 7:37 pm #85431

    relax and give it time, you dont know if he/she is busy


    Jmac
    Participant
    September 29, 2015 at 10:59 pm #86219

    Yea, you just have to relax and give you both time to adjust to something new


    toast23
    Participant
    October 4, 2015 at 3:26 am #86442
    Reply To: After The First Date

    There could be 3 reasons. He’s either busy and can’t reply right away, 2, he deliberately trying to act cool and make you chase him. Hemay not want to come across as too needy or desperate. 3 he might not be interested in a 2nd date at all. I’d let him text you. Don’t double text.


    Anonymous
    October 22, 2015 at 12:25 pm #87213
    Reply To: After The First Date

    I’m a little bit confused too.

    angela2000
    angela2000
    Participant
    February 1, 2016 at 7:17 pm #92587
    Reply To: After The First Date

    Don’t text him again. You have had the first date and maybe he thought there was not enough chemistry etc. It is not your fault. I am sure he is capable of texting you again if he wants to. Let him do the chasing. Give it a month. If you do not hear from him just move on.

    djames
    djames
    Participant
    February 16, 2016 at 12:05 pm #93698
    Reply To: After The First Date

    If you’re both feeling each other on a romantic level, two hours is a stroll down the street 🙂 I hope everything continues positively for you! It seems like you’re a very skeptical person because of your prior relationships, try to let this go as it can detract from the possibility of love at hand.


    Dash08
    Participant
    March 3, 2016 at 2:16 pm #94918
    Reply To: After The First Date

    It’s tough to give people their space during the first stages of dating like this. You really need to keep your emotions and thoughts in check. Many people have very busy day to day lives. It could be that the other person is busy with other things at the moment. They may even think they are playing the game the way it should. Not calling for a few days to build up the anticipation and excitement.

    Continue to keep your options open. Try not to dwell on it. It could be all on them and nothing you did personally. People are often a mystery.