Am I being too Clingy?

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Am I being too Clingy?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    December 12, 2017 at 9:21 pm FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    jamieshaw
    jamieshaw
    Participant
    June 12, 2017 at 5:00 am #139184
    Am I being too Clingy?

    I’ve been seeing a guy for about 4 months who I met on Tinder and I’m worried that he might be seeing other people because he didn’t text me back at all this weekend. Is this normal for a fledgling relationships? I feel like guys on dating sites think they only exist for easy sex and I’m tired of being taken advantage of. I want to see if hes been online but we both agreed to delete our Tinders and if I’m on there I’m afraid he’l think that I’m the one cheating. What should I do?

    Stevenxtra
    Stevenxtra
    Participant
    June 12, 2017 at 5:11 am #139186

    Hi Jamie. I’m sorry this guy hasn’t been texting you back. Younger relationships are often like that, and men want to play around some times. I don’t think its a good relationship if he isn’t at least giving you a status update to let you know hes alive. I would move on. I have a colleague that used a service to find her husband on Tinder once. I personally think its wrong to invade someones privacy unless you have a very good reason not to trust them. You could probably try albion-services.com or swipe buster. They both do the same thing. I’m not advocating this, just throwing out options.

    labradoodle14
    labradoodle14
    Participant
    June 12, 2017 at 9:18 am #139185

    Oh boy. Are you being to clingy? Probably not. It seems like a fair request to get a response or at least an acknowledgment of your existence on the weekend. If you ask me, he’s probably a young player type, but then again I don’t know your relationship very well based off this one post. I would say that if you’re worried about him cheating after four months its probably not going to work out. You could always make a new email account and an empty facebook then sign into tinder and swipe until you find him. I have a colleague at work who told me about two sites that find people on Tinder like kind of a search engine. One of them is called albion services and the other is called swipe buster. The first one uses facial recognition, so if hes dodgy and being sneaky about it it might be worth the $10 for closure. I absolutely do NOT advocate stalking people or violating trust. I would personally just end the relationship.

    richiro
    richiro
    Participant
    June 12, 2017 at 10:59 am #139237

    I would look more to how your interaction has gone over the last 4 months and especially lately – rather then look at what’s not happening.
    is that one weekend the ONLY time he has not contacted you? did he communicate that maybe he might not contact you that weekend? is he typically a busy guy or has a legit busy schedule?

    there is no one formula that fits all here. some people are just LEGITIMATELY busy and have a very busy life and it’s tough for them to communicate sometimes. the gal I just had a date with – she primarily WORKS on weekends – and thus why she can’t communicate much with me during the weekends – but can communicate till the cows come home during he week (but I can’t b/c I work during the week).

    So.. fill in the blanks. WHAT is he? WHAT are you guys? HOW have you guys been the last 4 months. WHAT can you tell us about him that would tell us why this might be legit or not? that’s where the answer lies.

    Bellarose
    Bellarose
    Participant
    June 15, 2017 at 4:17 pm #139607

    I agree with others, he could give you some status about what his intentions are and it doesn’t sound like you are being clingy. Dating sites can be tricky, given when you commit, there is always a chance you may run into that person online.

    David C.
    David C.
    Participant
    June 15, 2017 at 8:52 pm #139637

    I just get this feeling, about Tinder, that if you can just choose and dispose of people with a swipe, that they don’t take people they meet all that seriously, from a dating point of view.

    Match would probably be better… however, with me, I just like to go out more places. I’m not a success by any means, but I have met a lot of people. You need to be open and initiate though… good life experience.

    June 16, 2017 at 3:45 pm #139756

    I do not think you are being clingy as you say you are. What makes you think he might be seeing others. So I guess it is a gut feeling. In your view how so far has both of your relation been. Has there been any signs that he say might be pulling back. He also might just be busy.


    trapjaw
    Participant
    June 17, 2017 at 3:20 pm #139813

    even if there was something important that happened and he was busy he should still respond to you. Communication is important

    Ellipsis
    Ellipsis
    Participant
    June 17, 2017 at 4:16 pm #139815

    Okay, 4 months yeah? And he didn’t reply all weekend? It’s not a big deal at this stage, but I think you both need to talk. Understandably you’re upset, but I think you should both delete your Tinder accounts, there’s no room for that in a relationship, even a new one. It just causes confusion and unnecessary worry that the other is cheating.

    It’s certainly reasonable to expect a reply during the weekend. Unfortunately, I’ve been guilty of not replying in the past, it’s usually due to my work though. I’m sure there’s a rational explanation for his behaviour. You guys need to sit down and talk and tell each other what you expect from your relationship. Lay down some ground rules; i.e. no Tinder, and having the decency to reply. Best of luck! 🙂