Am I just a rebound?

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Am I just a rebound?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    katiejordannn
    Participant
    May 23, 2014 at 2:56 am #53620
    Am I just a rebound?

    I’ve been casually dating a guy for 5 months and it’s been going pretty well. Then I realized I might just be a rebound, without him knowingly doing it. We started dating a few months after his first long term relationship of three years ended. It ended because he was cheated on. I asked him if he still loved her and he said he wasn’t sure. He told me that he didn’t want me to feel like a rebound because I mean more to him than that, but he’s really adamant about not wanting a relationship right now. We have a really deep friendship and we know each other’s biggest secrets.
    I tried breaking it off but I can’t stay away from him. He’s my best friend and he’s important to me. Ever since I told him that I deserved better and couldn’t let myself be a rebound he’s been treating me more like he loves me.
    Is it worth it to stick around and see if this will evolve into something serious? I’m trying to date other people but no one else seems as good as him.


    Anonymous
    May 23, 2014 at 6:09 pm #53696

    Hello Katie Jordan,

    What’s the primary focus of your relationship with this fellow? Is it becoming a potential couple? Remaining very good friends? Do you want it to evolve into something serious?

    Sounds to me he’s currently not seeking another serious relationship right now. The challenge lies with you and what exactly it is you want.

    Do you feel it is necessary RIGHT NOW to be in a relationship with him?
    What does a relationship mean to you?

    I ask all these questions because it’s important to understand, that before anyone goes into any relationship they must know what it is and why they want it. The problem with a lot relationships these days boils down to a lack of clarity, and seeing if each individual is compatible with the other.

    Some rush into it too quickly and it backfires later on. Others will contemplate and wait without finding out what exactly it is they would like out of their potential relationship.

    What qualities do you look for in a partner?


    Shawn
    Participant
    May 24, 2014 at 10:08 am #53702

    You probably started out as a rebound, and even without him knowing maybe. I have been single for over 10 months… I was hurt badly and left in the dark when my ex left. We were only together 7 months, but there are other factors in play.

    Anyways, I started seeing someone about 3 months later. Nice girl, and it felt good… but I definitely loved my ex still. I called it off after the 5th date…

    I’m just getting back into dating as of the past couple weeks. I know now anything here out isn’t a rebound and that person has a fair chance at my heart…

    If his answer was “I’m not sure.” That’s a yes.
    “I think, therefore I am.”

    There are good guys out there. I know because I’m a really great guy, and I have high standards (all around). And I’m waiting for someone nice. There are plenty of girls I’ve been saying no to as of late… I’m not worried (too much). I’d rather be single and wait for a good match.

    Be good to yourself first. No one can be better for you than you can.


    katlynn87
    Participant
    May 25, 2014 at 9:09 am #53717

    It’s sounds like you were at the beginning but he developed some emotional connection with you. Since it sounds like he is starting to treat you better I would have a honest long talk about your feelings and if it goes the way you want it too. Than why not try and stick it out if your heart is turely with him and his is with you.


    Anonymous
    May 26, 2014 at 6:59 am #53730

    Take things slowly if he thinks that you are far better than her ex then you are more important. If I were you I would stick around to see if things will get better sooner, it’s exciting to know if you both ended up being together.