Am I over thinking things?

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Am I over thinking things?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    AlexxA
    Participant
    February 13, 2017 at 12:49 pm #126711
    Am I over thinking things?

    Communication is sometimes awkward. Is it me?

    I have been texting with this guy back and forth for two months now. We met right before he went back to school a distance away, so texting is all we sort of have now. He is very confident and often initiates conversation with me almost every day. I enjoy talking to him. We seem to have the flirting aspect totally down. We banter back and forth, and its sexy and fun with no weirdness. Our chemistry there is not lacking. My issue is that when we talk about everyday regular things, it’s a little awkward and stale. Like yesterday he asked me how my day was going. I told him. Then I asked him, and he told me. And it was just kind of boring. I don’t know if it’s me. He doesn’t follow up with anything to progress the conversation along. I’m very paranoid about not being interesting enough or cool. But at the same time, I don’t know if its him.


    AlexxA
    Participant
    February 13, 2017 at 12:50 pm #126712

    He doesn’t ask me a lot of questions about myself, like what foods I like, if I am watching an interesting show on tv, or how my job is.

    I want to get to know him better, but find myself sometimes holding back due to his lack of questions for me. Sometimes I think I get nervous that the conversation is sort of lagging so I will start spilling out stuff about myself. Then I feel stupid that I told him stuff, but he doesn’t tell me stuff about him. For example, the other night he asked me to tell him a story. I told him a funny story of an embarrassing thing that happened to me a few years back. Then last night I told him to tell me a story, and he makes up a funny story that’s not even real. It lead to some flirting, but it’s not deep. I think I am getting a little sick of just flirting and not getting deep, so it’s like a broken record.

    He did start snap chatting me this morning, with funny things that related to his story, which was cute.


    AlexxA
    Participant
    February 13, 2017 at 12:52 pm #126713

    It’s just I have had guys text me before whom are interested and they want to know all about me. My hopes, dreams, goals, how I like my eggs, etc… If I openly tell this guy, he remembers. I told him of a few funny nicknames that I hate being called and they have become staples to him now. He calls me cute variations of them all the time. He also teases me about not answering his questions about me? I tell him that he doesn’t ask me any questions, so there aren’t any to answer. He keeps teasing me that he isn’t going to reveal his secrets, because I give nothing away. I also think I like him and I’m always searching for signs he likes me, which maybe makes me nervous talking to him. I also find myself resorting to wanting to flirt, because its less awkward and more comfortable. I don’t know if he isn’t the type of guy who wants to talk that way. My friends have told me that some guys just aren’t like that. Maybe it’s better left for when he comes home to be in person.

    richiro
    richiro
    Participant
    February 13, 2017 at 3:16 pm #126763

    based on your initial (3) posts – the answer is yes. WAY over thinking things.


    AlexxA
    Participant
    February 13, 2017 at 3:42 pm #126775

    Sorry I never heard back from you in my previous post, so I thought to look for some further advice. I appreciate your advice as a guy.


    davidf
    Participant
    February 13, 2017 at 5:11 pm #126822

    Some people are quieter than others, you might always feel not satisfied with a person like him if you’re expecting from more.
    I myself have been the other side, an ex was reproaching me not to ask enough question, while I was on my side only waiting for her to express herself naturally.
    So maybe he just enjoys listening to you and you should feel happy to share.
    Maybe you just overthink indeed, be yourself, and you’ll see if goes better or worse.
    Uncertainty is no cool. Listen to your heart and it’ll fine!


    AlexxA
    Participant
    February 13, 2017 at 9:45 pm #126838

    Thanks for the response. I think I am expecting. I don’t want to be that way. Its so hard to talk to someone for two months, and not have it go any further than it is. Its like I’m grasping at every little sign and word and reading into everything trying to gauge his feelings. If he wanted more, he would make it more. I keep trying to remind myself of that. But then he talks to me every day and I enjoy it, but then when we don’t talk, I question everything.


    sea2002
    Participant
    February 14, 2017 at 12:18 am #126839

    I do not think you are over thinking things. Communication is Key! Talk to him about it and see what he thinks. It sounds like you really are interested in him and that he is into you as well. People get busy and sometimes not talking for a few days might give you guys more to talk about. I hope that helps.