Am I Overreacting?

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Am I Overreacting?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    howardhanson
    Participant
    November 9, 2014 at 8:25 pm #67285
    Am I Overreacting?

    So here’s my situation in short form. I met this girl a while back, and we hit it off in a big way. We’d talk every day, either through texts or on the phone. One night, she told me she loved me. I knew I felt the same, so I said it back. From there, we’d say it every day. We fell deeper and deeper in love, and she began calling me her soulmate, saying I was the only man who never treated her bad, etc. She has two small children, and began talking about me being their stepdad some day. She’d always call when they were around so I could hear them playing, show me pictures, etc. She was talking to her sister-in-law about me one day, and said she thinks she loves me. Her sister-in-law said, “Thinks? Look at you. You’re glowing. You do love him.” She introduced me to her sister-in-law after that, and felt like this was going somewhere. After all, why introduce me and talk about your kids the way she did if she didn’t mean it? She’s been going through some stuff lately, and has been calling


    howardhanson
    Participant
    November 9, 2014 at 8:29 pm #67286

    a lot more than texting. The other day, I was in a bad mood. She said I sounded cranky, but I said it was nothing. She told me she loved me, I replied in kind, and she giggled and said, “You sound so enthused.” I told her I was just tired and a little sad. I texted her yesterday, and she answered right away but was giving one word answers. I called, and she picked right up. I could tell she was mad, even though she said she wasn’t. I tried to talk, but she was being quiet. I said I felt like I was bothering her, but she said, “You’re not.” I have been worried about our relationship recently, and she said, “I don’t know why you have your doubts.” I tried to talk more, and she said, “It’s like you’re expecting it.” I asked her what, and she said she had to go. I texted after to say I was sorry. She replied and said I needed to stop because I wasn’t making it better. She said I worry too much, and she feels like I’m pushing her to end this. I replied and said I don’t want that at all. I


    Sontine
    Participant
    November 9, 2014 at 11:39 pm #67300

    So in my opinion yes, your overreacting just a little. Being a single mother is a very hard job (I am one so yes I know) and I’m sure regardless of how much she wants you to be their stepdad that there are things she’s going thru that she isn’t comfortable telling you about. I would suggest asking her out so you can talk about where you are both at. Tell her how much you love her and want to do what you can to help. Remind her that she can vent on you and see if she’ll open up about what’s going on. Because it truly sounds to me like she’s having her own struggles and needs to know you’ll be there no matter what, not making it harder for her by acting as immature as the children she deals with everyday.

    Zenith1980
    Zenith1980
    Participant
    November 10, 2014 at 1:26 am #67308

    I agree with the above post. I tend to do the same in similar situations. Just build trust with each other and keep open and honest. Things will be fine


    howardhanson
    Participant
    November 10, 2014 at 8:32 am #67287

    felt like she wanted that. But if she didn’t, I said I won’t worry anymore. She replied, “Then don’t worry.” I promised I wouldn’t, said I loved her, and that was it. Now tonight I texted her to say hi and wish her a good night at work, and so far nothing. This girl has told me before that she just won’t leave, and she could have told me off yesterday but didn’t. Instead, her, “Then don’t worry” came off to me as her saying she doesn’t want it to end. My question is, am I overreacting? Or should I prepare for the worst?


    OMUd
    Participant
    November 10, 2014 at 1:22 pm #67369

    You are definitely over reacting. Just stay calm and let the relationship form, do exciting things.