Am I wasting my time?

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Am I wasting my time?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    Maxima47
    Maxima47
    Participant
    January 25, 2017 at 2:44 pm #124502
    Am I wasting my time?

    I met a gorgeous women “K” in August 2016 on a dating app. We have been communicating quite frequently but mostly through text. When I met K she confined in me that she was recently out of a relationship with a girl. Knowing this I was prepared to be the rebound. Which would be fine since I too had just come out of a five year relationship in May of 2016. Nevertheless, we continued to talk just about every day and get along very well. A few months went by and I decided to ask her out. She said yes! Which brought me great hope, however every time I tried to to plan a meet up day something would come up I.e. Work. So, I got tired of asking her out and decided to leave it alone for now. We continued on having long conversations for the months to come. Around Christmas I noticed a huge decrease of communication on her end. Unfortunately, the decrease has continued on till now. She recently told me she still likes me but I noticed less and less effort on her part. Am I wasting my time?

    richiro
    richiro
    Participant
    January 25, 2017 at 5:05 pm #124534

    i wouldn’t conclude anything yet. the holidays and the immediate aftermath of the holidays is the WORST time to judge people’s actions and reactions in the dating/relatoinship world. there is just far too many things going on and obligations to really date around then (especialy something new what with so many family things going on).

    no pushing. dial it back. don’t give up.
    find a really cool thing you’d love to do (date or not) and bring it up in convo with her about how your’e doing this really fun thing that you found.. talk a bit about it. if she seems intrigued by it… “how about you come with me and join me.. it should be a lot of fun”… BOOM! date!

    the open ended “wanna go out?” is not very successful nor enticing or natural. having an event you are enthused about that sounds fun and then “inviting people along” is far more successful to ask people out on dates.

    good luck!


    Lilah
    Participant
    January 29, 2017 at 2:28 am #124879

    No one wants to waste time on someone who isn’t interested in them, and you’d think that the person you’re talking to on a dating app or site is eager to meet and go on a date, but it’s not always the case even though they’re the same site as you are. you mentioned you and she would communicate frequently and out of nowhere, you see a rapid change in her response towards you. that should be concerning, I never want to be the person who always comes with bad news. however, encountering ghosts on the net are extremely common. talking to someone and growing an emotional connection towards them the next step would be to plan a date. And yet, that never seems to be addressed, no matter how many hints you drop or plans you’ve tried to make. with not following through with meeting up and now hardly speaking to me is all warning signs. if the person was interested they would be equally as eager to meet you and talk to you as much as you’re .

    Dating is tough. Online dating is tougher. Long-distance dating is toughest. But the couples who make it despite those slim odds are bound to be the strongest. remember communication is the key and being willing to accept what is and what is not will save you a lot of heartaches.

    best of luck to you and your relationship.


    CindyGlass
    Participant
    June 12, 2017 at 4:17 pm #139284

    Take a step back to see if she misses you and starts to pursue you. Like Lilah said, no one wants to waste time on someone who isn’t interest in them. Seems to me she has unresolved issues and dealing with the aftermath of the breakup. Be patient but not too much!
    Best of luck