Ambiguous Situation

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Ambiguous Situation

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  • LovelyBones
    LovelyBones
    Participant
    November 14, 2016 at 2:45 pm #117241
    Ambiguous Situation

    I have been seeing a guy for about 2 and a half months. My issue is that I find myself confused by him and am confused about how to handle it.

    The guy always treats me when we go out, he’s also super generous with helping me out like driving my cat and I to the vet etc. When I got laid off recently he said I could stay at his place with him and his daughter so I wouldn’t be alone. He has introduced me to his friends. His daughter is his world and I don’t think that he would have me staying at their house where she and I are getting to know one another and she sees me sleeping over if he didn’t think a lot of me. On the other side of things, I initiate a lot and he will sometimes not text me for a day or so. I know he’s only been separated for a year and the break up really hurt him. He’s confessed to me that he has walls built up, isn’t used to how affectionate I am but that he’s happy he met me but needs space and time. I just want to make sure I am not a meantime person.

    LovelyBones
    LovelyBones
    Participant
    November 14, 2016 at 2:52 pm #117246

    It’s hard to read on if he is saying those things “like I’m not ready for a relationship just yet but we’ll see” to keep me around until something better comes along or if he genuinely is struggling with some emotions right now but I mean enough to him that he hasn’t peaced out fully. When he’s had a tough time or needed to talk a decision through I’m the one he calls.

    We have had sex but it’s not been the main focus. He holds my hand in public and I get non-sexual affection too. I wouldn’t imagine a guy being that way with a meantime girl or someone he considers a “friend with benefits” but I am new in getting back in to the dating world so have no idea. It’s him having me around his daughter, she’s 11, that makes me the most confused. The divorce was really tough on her too and I would find it hard to think that he’d allow her to get to know someone that he didn’t think would be around soon. He has her 1/2 of the time so easy to keep me away from that. Thoughts?

    LovelyBones
    LovelyBones
    Participant
    November 15, 2016 at 8:58 am #117260

    I guess I should also mention that he suffers from anxiety and just recently went back on medication. I could tell he was being a bit out of sorts again the past couple of days and today I got a text from him that he’s not feeling very sociable right now and just wants to shut everything off and hide (we had talked about possibly hanging out tonight yesterday). I think it got sparked by some his friends posting old pics from back in the day that had he and his ex wife in them on social media. I think it upsets him – not sure why people do that as it was not an amicable split. I just told him to take care of himself and that I’m there for him if he needed to talk but that otherwise I would see him Wednesday (as he’s helping me with an errand). The anxiety stuff has been a bit tough to manoeuver as it’s all new to me in a relationship.


    kjones87654321
    Participant
    November 25, 2016 at 8:52 am #118108

    That’s a tough one. The fact that he’s introduced you to his daughter implies he’s pretty into you, but it does sound like he has some issues to work through. If you have feelings for him, I’d try to be patient and give him some time and space, as long as it’s only a day or two here and there.

    Good luck!