April 4, 2017 at 1:31 pm #132037
I am on an online dating site & saw a good looking guy with a great profile who looked familiar to me. I messaged him to tell him he looked familiar, thinking maybe we went to college together or something. He messaged me back and we get along really well. Then it dawns on me, he is an old friends ex husband. The friend and I used to be very close years ago. That being said, I haven’t spoken to her in any way in about 7yrs. She and I are facebook friends, but don’t even communicate on there. When she was married to this guy, I never met him, didnt go to the wedding etc. .I asked him today how long they were together and he said abouf 6yrs and divorced for a year and a half. He wants to get together for dinner or drinks and see if we connect in person. I am very interested in getting to know him better but not sure what to do. She recently moved out of state to live with her boyfriend of about a year. Do i go or not go? Do I tell her first or wait and see if he and I like each other?
richiroParticipantApril 4, 2017 at 5:06 pm #132075
since she’s done with him….
doesn’t communicate with you at all…
i don’t think you’re obligated to do anything here…
but the “adult thing to do” would be to mention it to her.. “you’ll nevr guess who i bumped into on a dating site…..”
and then see how things go from there. it may be much ado about nothing… it may create big drama. you can decide then what to do — but i say since she had her chance and let it go, hasn’t made effort to remain close with you or regular friends.. there probaly isn’t any issue here.
SammyParticipantApril 4, 2017 at 5:45 pm #132090
Honestly, I wouldn’t overthink that too much. If she is completely done with him, I see no reason to not give it a go with that guy. After all, she is an adult, not a child – she shouldn’t give you a hard time. If she does, try not to be too upset about it. I see no reason for her to have an issue.April 4, 2017 at 6:10 pm #132093
Thank you both! I will most likely let her know to be respectful, but will hang out with him to see what’s there.
mylove123ParticipantApril 4, 2017 at 6:29 pm #132094
It shouldn’t matter who her ex husband dates. They divorced for a reason, plus she has a new boyfriend, now. I’d say go for it.
dennis2922ParticipantApril 5, 2017 at 2:58 am #132117
You should go for that date. Since you dont communicate with your old friend and she already has a boyfriend.
TooOldForThis94ParticipantApril 14, 2017 at 2:25 pm #133300
They are right hereApril 18, 2017 at 10:04 am #133480
We finally met up yesterday and it seemed to go pretty well. He was holding my hand and kissed me and affectionate. Before I even got home though he was online on the dating site. I know it was only our first time hanging out and he could have other women he was talking to and want to along with me. I sent him a text last night to say I had a great time and he agreed. I mentioned doing something in the next week or two and he said sounds good. I guess I have to play the waiting game now. He isnt huge on texting so we’ll see. He seemed into me in person, but I have a feeling he may not be that into me. Time will tell. I’m keeping my options open since it was 1 date.
EarthlingParticipantApril 18, 2017 at 1:35 pm #133573
7 years is an extremely long time, I don’t think you need to tell her.
ArtsyfartsyParticipantApril 22, 2017 at 2:20 am #134066
You sound like you are open to different outcomes of this situation, and that’s good! Keeping an open mind at the start of things is important! I agree that the friend thing should be a non-issue, unless you know of her to be an overly dramatic person who might react to this news in a negative way. I wouldn’t concern yourself too much with the fact that he was online on the site right after the date, but if you two do become more serious and that carries on you might want to put the kibosh on that lol.
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