And now I'm confused and frightened…

DATING ADVICE FORUM

And now I'm confused and frightened…

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    waltrus
    Participant
    January 30, 2017 at 5:11 pm #125041
    And now I'm confused and frightened…

    So okay then, first thing first- I am 31 now. I am not attractive. And I simply do not date.
    I was the “Monty Python” kid in school so, well I think you know the rest of that story.
    I went off to college thinking my dreams would come true, only to realize my nightmares, You know the story. They come off, she laughs, and I go on a ten year mission to turn off every feeling I ever had with drugs and booze. And it worked. It was bliss. I was happy.
    But, about two years ago I started slowing down. Cleaning up.
    But all those feelings were still blissfully shut off. Until…
    Over the holidays an old friend returns home and we reconnect, this time taking the relationship to just short of that place I have honestly never been before. Now there are plans to joining her on the other side of the country, and I am sitting here in a constant state of worry and anticipation. Like a teenager.
    What should I even do? She knows my past, I do not want to come on too strong,


    Ron
    Participant
    January 30, 2017 at 10:09 pm #125056

    I totally agree with Kirk. You need to work on being confident!!!

    But regarding moving away to be with your girl, if you want to take the “leap of faith” do it, but have a plan B, maybe? So if something doesn’t work you won’t be completely lost.

    I hope you live a beautiful love story. 🙂


    waltrus
    Participant
    January 31, 2017 at 8:42 am #125042

    CON’T
    She is not leading me on, she has stated that we should be cautious in approaching a relationship. as we have been friends for so long. However a physical relationship is something she is not opposed to, but I think I want more.
    But I do not know. How can I. I don’t know the feelings I am having, so I don’t know what to do with them.

    richiro
    richiro
    Participant
    January 31, 2017 at 12:15 pm #125128

    ok… yes you always work on yourself to build your OWN LIFE up – never depend on somethign with another person to build that for you. the good ones area attracted to gusy that have it together – so get it otgether first.

    as for this girl.. that she’s talking “join me” tells you your past is okay with her and she’s not worried about that – she’s looking to the future. so that should not even be a question. let that go and quit dwelling on your past.. ITS THE PAST – ITS NOT YOU NOW!

    My recommendaion has always been – if youre going to move for a girl.. ask yourself if you’d be moving there if the girl were not in the picture – woudl you still b e interested or coudl reasonably say you would move there ayway? if the answer is yes – go for it! if it’s no – ask yourself what happens if it diesnont’ work out with the girl – will you be ok? would you stay? will you regret going there?

    only go if you never pull back to any of those questions about moving there. otherwise, don’t go.