Another chance

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Another chance

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  • loretta1228
    Participant
    August 23, 2016 at 12:04 am #109108
    Another chance

    Could I get some people to weigh in on my best Friend, Emily? She has been dating Anthony for eight months now. The relationship went way too fast too soon. There has been a lot of arguing, (more arguing than normal). I think Anthony has bi-polar, he is super sensitive, insecure and is always flipping out. I have had long conversations with Emily and she admits that he is insecure. While this couple has their issues, Emily admits that their relationship is very restrictive. They both agreed that they will not go anywhere or do anything with anyone else, except with each other. I can barely talk to her because he sees her everyday. We can not go shopping and out to dinner like we use to do because Anthony is afraid a guy with hit on her.

    I try to talk to Emily to say that restrictive relationships dont work, because they are not dealing with the real issue, Anthony’s insecurities. She says she does not want any more drama and will not confront him on this issue.


    helena
    Participant
    August 26, 2016 at 12:18 am #109694

    That’s definitely not a healthy relationship but telling her what to do won’t help much. Maybe try asking her — conversationally and not as if you are trying to make a point– how she feels about being so restricted and if she believes it is fair. Does he go out with out her? Girls could hit on him just as easily as guys hit on her. Guys could hit on her at work or at the grocery store. Is she allowed to do that? Again, don’t ask the questions as if you are trying to convince her. Ask as if you are really trying to understand her perspective and really listen to her answers. Don’t end the conversation with “you should change that”. End with “do what makes you happy”. It’s possible that really thinking about the situation without feeling threatened or judged will help her see how unhealthy it is


    helena
    Participant
    August 26, 2016 at 12:26 am #109695

    Basically go therapist on her