Anticipating a long distance relationship; Try it? End it now? End it later?

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Anticipating a long distance relationship; Try it? End it now? End it later?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    Casey12u2
    Participant
    January 16, 2017 at 10:54 pm #123234
    Anticipating a long distance relationship; Try it? End it now? End it later?

    In 7mo. she’s moving 5hrs away for school, in 16mo. I’m transferring schools, by then we’ll only be 1hr away and our schools offer free transportation between the two.

    Recently she’s been worried about a LDR. At first, it was me that was worried but she convinced me that we’d be fine. Now she’s having 2nd thoughts, and instead of at least waiting until she moves to break up, she wants to break up now so we have time to deal with it before moving. Neither of us wants this at all. We’re both madly in love and I’d do anything to stay with her and enjoy our time before she moves and ideally at least try a LDR. She says when I transfer we can date again but I’m able and willing to drive 5+hrs every week or 2 to see her.

    Until next weekend we’re on a break so she can think about things. I’m worried she’s not going to change her mind about breaking up. Even if we decide to break up before she moves, I don’t want to end it this soon.

    Thoughts, tips, advice? I really don’t want to lose her


    erricred
    Participant
    January 17, 2017 at 3:46 am #123242

    I find it a little strange that shes trying to break things off 7 months before leaving. When I graduated from high school, my girlfriend and I agreed that it was best for us to break things off as I was moving across the country. But we continued to date pretty much up until the day I left. It was the same situation when I returned home and had to break it off with my girlfriend across the country. But this is just my experience, I don’t know you two or the relationship you have. Is she going away to college? Are you already in college and transferring to be closer to her? If shes going away to college, you’re almost better off letting her do her own thing for a while. It sounds to me like shes giving pretty strong signals that she wants to be single once she moves(or even before) so why not just let her have that and then try things again when you’ve moved closer to her? You’ll seem mature and reasonable.


    Casey12u2
    Participant
    January 18, 2017 at 1:04 am #123367

    Our relationship is very good, we love each other like crazy! She says that she wants to break up so early so that we can have time to deal with it before she moves, she thinks it’ll be easier to just end it now before we fall even more in love with each other. I understand her thinking but that’s so much time to miss out on together…

    And yeah, she’s going away to college. I’m not transferring to be closer to her, it just so happens that the school I’m transferring to is an hour from hers.

    As far as I can tell, she just doesn’t want us to have to deal with missing each other, which we’re actually very used to; Our entire time dating we’ve only been able to see each other on the weekends other than a few times. I don’t think adding another week or two between seeing each other would be too terrible. Especially considering I’m taking engineering classes and she’ll be in medical school, we’ll be busy all the time anyway.


    Casey12u2
    Participant
    January 18, 2017 at 1:24 am #123368

    I guess another point I should mention is that we’re both very much committed to each other; Planning for marriage, kids, after graduation, etc. If we break up, neither of us will have any intentions of dating someone else, especially if we’re planning to get back together afterward. Neither of us are the dating type anyway, we’re both only each others second partner. Plus, the school she’s going to is like 85% female so it wouldn’t exactly be easy. Although she did say she wanted to have a lesbian experience at least once… lmao but I’d let her do that anyway.

    It’s not like we’re going to be across the country when she moves.. And I’m very used to driving 1,000+ miles every week, I did it for work all last summer and plan to next summer. Of course it’ll be different if I’m in school, but I’m confident I could make it work at least once or twice a month.
    I’m curious, though, how tough was it breaking up before moving away both those times? And like, how much in love were you I guess?