Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

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Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    ronwilsonmiller
    Participant
    May 26, 2016 at 12:09 am #101350
    Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

    I’m a guy and have been dating my girlfriend for about 3 years now. I graduated college 2 years ago, and my girlfriend still has a little less than 3 semesters left. Long story short, I need advice on whether to dump my old truck. My girlfriend hates the truck while I absolutely love it. My dad gave it to me when I was 16, its beaten to hell, the AC doesn’t work, there’s more rust than there is paint on it, and its gotten over 310k miles on it, which is why I understand why she hates it. I wouldn’t doubt it if she broke up with me solely because I cant let it go. What I’m having troubles explaining to her is I’m afraid that ill lose the memories if I gave it up. Every job that I’ve ever had, every date that I’ve ever been on, and almost every time I went to hang out with friends, I drove my truck. I don’t think she understands how hard it is for a guy to give up their first truck or car they’ve owned.
    The question is: should I let go truck of my truck for my girlfriend.?
    Thanks

    werp28
    werp28
    Participant
    June 16, 2016 at 9:30 pm #103551

    Hi. I can see both sides here. Your truck means a lot to you because of memories but at the end of the day it sounds like you need new wheels, not because of your gf, simply because cars don’t last.
    You should not dump your gf over a car and likewise she shouldn’t dump you because of it.
    If you really can’t choose between a truck and your gf then you obviously don’t love her, let her go

    morrowrd
    morrowrd
    Participant
    June 17, 2016 at 4:18 am #103557

    I think if your girlfriend loves you, she loves you. Not because of the car you drive or some other material thing, and if your relationship is so conditional that you have to choose between a vehicle you drive, and her, the relationship isn’t all that durable. Sure, I understand maybe she is annoyed at riding it in because it’s uncomfortable, but it shouldn’t be a last straw. Are you in the position to maybe get a vehicle together and you just keep your truck for solo flights? Or is she in a position to get a vehicle of her own (does she already have one? If so, what’s the problem with you driving what you chose to drive?)

    • This reply was modified 1 year, 4 months ago by morrowrd morrowrd.
    • This reply was modified 1 year, 4 months ago by morrowrd morrowrd.

    conman526
    Participant
    June 19, 2016 at 3:16 am #103615

    If your girlfriend truly wants to be with you, she can deal with a freaking truck. It’s not her truck, why should she care? I would understand if it’s because she’s afraid that it will break down and leave you stranded, but if that’s not the reason, then she has no right. Keep her dude, but if she’s willing to leave you over a truck, then she’s not worth it, unfortunately.


    Anonymous
    June 20, 2016 at 3:01 pm #103682

    Why not problem solve here? Keep your truck and occasionally use it and get a new one. It sounds like it would be a smart move anyway. It’s not fun to worry about safety and constantly putting money into something that should be retiring. And listen…speaking as a lady, it’s just nice to go out on dates and be with a guy who has a decent car. At the very least, clean and comfortable and one you feel safe in. So keep your truck on the side and get a new car that you can afford. Someday, you may be ready to let it go. Because reality is, it’s just a truck. Those memories do not live in the truck, they live inside of you. People who hold onto physical possessions and get their identity wrapped up in it, are living in illusions. You somehow believe that you could not be happy without your truck. That’s a belief that is not true. If your identity is that wrapped up on your truck, then let it go. You will learn that you are actually okay without it!

    LostinLove007
    LostinLove007
    Participant
    June 20, 2016 at 5:59 pm #103719

    I have an IDEA!!!
    Hey she’s not with you for your truck. If she loves you truly and purely she is with you for your heart and you. Create a scenario for her to show her why your truck is special like a game and story telling. Drive her to where you first got your truck, then where you got your license, then drive her to where you had your first party, Then to where you guys had your first date. You have to get creative to show meaning. I’m a musician so thinking creative is my thing. Tell me what you think of this idea!


    angiesod
    Participant
    June 21, 2016 at 4:50 am #103724

    No you shouldnt!! if she dumps you and uses this as an excuse she is lying and something else is up!! or she is extremely superficial


    Virgo Girl
    Participant
    June 21, 2016 at 7:23 am #103736

    I agree with the last comment!


    MoodyBin
    Participant
    June 24, 2016 at 7:27 am #103983

    I think everyone has something like your old truck, something that brings back memories and I understand it is hard to let such a thing go. I would try to explain it to her so she understands, try to liken your truck with something that means a lot to her too (what I also want to say is, sometimes it is also not bad idea itself to get rid of these kind of things like your old truck).
    On the other hand, if she is seriously able to leave you just because of truck and vice versa, I think there is something deeper going on…


    Daniel2223
    Participant
    July 14, 2016 at 6:27 am #105171
    Reply To: Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

    Hi Heidi, need your advise. I am currently seeing someone for around 3 months now and the 1st month was perfect. We meet each other every week and went to a trip together just by our self. We hold hand when walking, sleep together and we was like a real couple being happy and loving in our relationships. We was sending text every time we free, talking on the phone when we have time, exchange what we do in our daily life when we are not together. She also recommend me to all her friends include her best friends seen childhood and her sisters. She always take photo of us and send to her friend and always exited that I go and see her. Then when I ask her and she say she like and feel very good about us. Then the problem start after not long from the 1st trip, She start to text me less, we barely talk on the phone anymore. When I confronted her that why we are dwindling away and she told me that nothing is wrong and she is just busy and tired of work. She start to say that I need to


    Daniel2223
    Participant
    July 14, 2016 at 6:28 am #105172
    Reply To: Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

    understand that she needed space and don’t change her life. Then I told her that I always give her space and yes I do give her space like when she say she is with friends then I will let her enjoy and not even bother her for hours or whole night, when she say she is tired after work then I will let her rest and relax, when she say she is busy then I will give her time to settle her problem. After that we still see each other and we when for 2nd trip but this time with her friend. The trip when well and we were very happy. Then soon after that I started to notice and feel that she is distancing herself from me. She started not reply to my text, Don’t even text me when she wake up, before sleep or the whole days and when I ask her where she is or what she is doing now, she doesn’t even reply. Then the worst part is when I start to get near her or sometimes just touch her she try to avoid and give me a feeling that she is uncomfortable. Then I confronted her again and ask her what is


    Daniel2223
    Participant
    July 14, 2016 at 6:29 am #105173
    Reply To: Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

    the hell happening to us. She send me a text saying that I am someone special to her and I was happy. But then again after a day or two she return back the same way and I said to her that, can she show some action supporting her words that she say to me. Then she get angry again and say I act like a child and don’t understand her. But how I can don’t miss understand, because when we are together, no matter how busy she is, she still pick up the phone and sending text msg to her friends ( boys and girls). She still online in Facebook every minutes, when she say she is tired and wanted to be back room and rest then after a few hours I can see her update that she is having dinner with friends, when I text her, she say she is busy or tired and no time to reply. So a few days ago I confronted her for the 3rd time and ask her how she wanted to move forward on our matter, then her answer was she is not rushing to be in a relationship and she need time so see and judge me.


    Daniel2223
    Participant
    July 14, 2016 at 6:31 am #105174
    Reply To: Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

    Then I try to tell her that I am not rushing anything just wanted us to maintain the feeling until she is ready to commit and I also tell her that if I am the only want committing to make this relationship work then it will kill me from then inside out and she just don’t reply and try to move away from the topic.
    I really don’t know what is going on and I am confuse with the hot and cold sign from her. When we are together, she can give me all the attention and text what is going on during her working time, then when I go back to work, then she can just don’t even text or reply me after seeing the text or don’t call me the whole day. I am really getting tired of this game and I now can feel that the space she wanted is to be single but with a person to care for her when she need. What I can feel is I am more like a part time to her. I really don’t know whether to hold on or move on in this matter. I really like her and hope to move forward with the relationships.


    annonymous12345
    Participant
    July 14, 2016 at 12:28 pm #105208
    Reply To: Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

    i don’t think you should. you should explain to her how you feel and maybe come to a compromise. i don’t think you should be throwing away something that matters to you just because someone does not see the same value in it.


    jal
    Participant
    July 14, 2016 at 12:40 pm #105219
    Reply To: Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

    If she loves you she’ll let you keep it.

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