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Hi there, straight to my question: there is this one girl in a class below me which I find attractive, but I’ve never spoken to her, or made any sort of contact. I have her in my friend list on Facebook though, so I wanted to ask if messaging her there for the first time would be a good idea? As I said already I would like to get to know her; what I am trying to say by that is, I don’t know if we have common interests to talk about. I know talking to her in person could be better but there is no to little chance to do so in school – that gives me the idea of inviting her somewhere when I text her? Is that stupid thing to do..? I am not really shy so I would be probably able to do that, I just want to do the best I can, so that’s why I am asking all these quesitons
Please keep in my mind I am 16 y/o, still inexperienced haha, basicaly asking how to get to know a certain person and if doing it by FB is good idea.
Thanks for any opinions!March 2, 2017 at 7:39 am #128749
So no one has got anything to say? Should I end up writing her then?
EBarbzParticipantMarch 2, 2017 at 8:49 am #128686
Based off the age, I would say its fine to message them to hang out.
I personally like speaking in person, but since you haven’t talked before, I say go for it
Jack of HeartsParticipantMarch 2, 2017 at 10:55 am #128801
Hey man, I totally get your situation and how you feel. I’m pretty shy about approaching girls for the first time and always think tactfully about what I should do. But I can tell you, all the girls that I really liked and ended up dating, I made the gutsy move and approached them in person. I always found an excuse to talk to them, and I’d always ask them about it afterwards and they had no idea that I had been planning on talking to them all along. Trust me, an opportunity will arise, especially if you go to the same school. Additionally, talking to her at school gives you an excuse to talk about something you have in common, school! I wouldn’t stay on the topic for too long as people talk about school all the time, but it’s a way to connect and a gateway to other conversations, you can ask her about what she does outside of school (work, hobbies, etc.). Basically, girls do really love to see effort and confidence, even if you’re nervous, make the gutsy move and show your confidence!
the_real_batmanParticipantMarch 3, 2017 at 9:00 am #128908
Person. It’s basically that display of confidence in approaching her that will start attracting her to you. Lots of shady people try to hop into girl’s DMs though, and some might be fake profiles. In person, you become legitimate. A real guy with the real confidence to start a conversation with her. I’ve done it through Facebook, but you wanna leave the messaging for after you’ve already talked in person. You want to begin getting her physically attracted to you right away, and a lot of that happens through your body language and actions, not just words on a screenMarch 3, 2017 at 10:06 am #128951
Thanks for all the replies I appreciate it
So I’ve been constantly seeking for a chance to talk with her in school but none came, she is always with friends. I will probably continue doing so for now, what you are saying makes a lot of sense and you are right it’s a better choice but I won’t lie that on the other hand the waiting is pretty grueling, I’d like to do something about it already and that’s pretty much the only (but big) thing which is still convincing me to text her. Also as @ebarbz says, based off the age I don’t think texting her first would be that much of bad thing to do
Jack of HeartsParticipantMarch 3, 2017 at 10:17 am #128956
You’re right, it’s not a “bad thing to do per say. In fact, it’s probably what she’s used to/expects, but you want to surpass those expectations, no? Texting is certainly better than nothing at all, and I don’t want to tell you to keep waiting for the opportunity, because you might lose your chance! But, my advice to you my friend, is to make your own luck. You can be tactful and figure out how you can talk to her with or without her friends around, or you can text her if that’s what you feel you would better excel at. Ultimately you have to go with your gut. Us people of the internet can only offer our advice, in the end it’s your decision.
TIlesmithParticipantMarch 4, 2017 at 9:30 am #129074
Man, its kinda tricky if you are shy. I know I have my shy moments for sure.
One thing I would suggest is trying to find something out about her, not in a creepy way, naturally, but something that would give you a reason to talk to her. Like, approach her one day and ask her a question about something she likes? So for example, you find out she’s a dancer? Go up and ask her, or maybe ask her a question about an assignment you both have?
One thing I would say, is try you best to come across confident and fun… Now I get that you are shy, but if you are happy to talk to her instead of nervous, thatll really come through, give her a smile!
Work on yourself a bit, feel good about life and have fun, maybe thatll ease your nerve. Look up Tony Robbins Hour of Power, that helps me.
I hope something I said helps somehow, I know how you feel right now. I’m a little older than you but theres this girl id really like to get to know in one of my classes; so im the same boat. Good luck man!March 5, 2017 at 7:59 am #129091
@Tllesmith I literally wrote I am not shy at all.
“I am not really shy so I would be probably able to do that, I just want to do the best I can”
that_guyXDParticipantMarch 6, 2017 at 12:04 am #129106
Well im a little late here and im sure you’ve already done whatever you chose but im in sort of the same situation as you right now and i just went for it and its going well.
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