How to Approach Him

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How to Approach Him

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    C. Price
    C. Price
    Participant
    October 24, 2012 at 3:02 pm #15497
    How to Approach Him

    The tables aren’t usually turned on the ladies, so what do you do when they are?


    pseudogf
    Participant
    October 25, 2012 at 5:27 pm #15519

    It doesn’t take much for a woman to say hello. I’ve approached men and they’re not offended- if anything, they’re a bit surprised so it’s nice to feel like they may have wanted to talk to us in the first place anyway.


    SoupForTheSoul
    Participant
    October 25, 2012 at 6:45 pm #15779

    I think most men would actually be flattered, even if you turn out not to be their cup of tea.

    One time I just walked up to a man and asked him to dinner, never talked to him before or seen him before in my life. He said yes. The date didnt’ go as well as it could of, but I tried and got the results I was looking for.

    BlockBurger34
    BlockBurger34
    Participant
    October 30, 2012 at 5:53 pm #15827

    I might be gay, but I’m still a man. I have to say, being approached by anyone with romantic intentions is super flattering. It makes you feel confident and sexy and able to handle anything. Approach that man and ask him a question causally, youd be surprised what happens.


    kaye.jacqueline
    Participant
    November 17, 2012 at 10:39 pm #16575

    I have been not-to-subtly pursuing a guy at my university who is two years below me… I got his number to ‘study together’ and started texting him even though we didn’t say anthing to each other in chem class since he’s a swimmer so he sits with his other swimmer friends (the sports teams are kind of cultish here). So I finally got up the nerve and asked him via text to come over to my room on Tuesday. After downing 1/8 a liter of vodka (and throwing up the next day) he came over and we made out and fooled around a bit and then he left. In class the next day he didn’t say anything to me which I thought was weird and really bothered me so I asked my ex to text him (BAD MOVE) since they were both swimmers (swimmers have amazing bodies, btw) and tell him to get some balls and talk to me more. Instead my ex basically told him I’m this sweet but super emotional person and that I like him and get attached fast… to which Wes replied that he wasn’t really looking for a relationship (uhm… we had hooked up once so that’s fair) and he ended up texting me and telling me he didn’t think he has time for a relationship between swimming and pre-med academics. I text him back that I had no expectations so far, that I didn’t even know him and was having fun… I pretty much told him I just wanted to be hook up buddies which is NOT what I want but I didn’t want him to get all commitment phobic on me either since my ex freaked him out after we’d made out once. So he text me yesterday just asking about a test we both had to see how I felt about it. Last night I text him asking him to hang out and he came by… we talked a bit just about swimming, school, i laughed at him for texting me about a relationship after we had only made out once and he admitted that my ex had text him and blamed my ex for him texting me that about not wanting a relationship. We had sex, he came super fast (like 2 seconds) and I’m not sure what that means… if it means anything other than like he’s horny. He was super embarrassed and kept apologizing about it and immediately put on another condom and re-entered which is no bueno since you know, guys take a while to get hard again… so eventually I stopped him and was like ‘we should wait at least 15 mins’ so we made out some more and he said this weird thing like, “I don’t know if hook-ups are for me.” to which I asked, “What does that mean” and he replied “Well in the spring last year they were but then I just got really sick of it.” Then he looked worried again and I asked again what was wrong… same thing, he wasn’t sure hook-ups are his ‘thing’ to which I replied that I didn’t think they were mine (but wtf am I supposed to say since he freaed out at the relationship thing) and then he asked what the time was because he had a swim meet today and needed to go to bed early but before he left he came over, apologized for being worried/anxious and held my hand and kissed me which was a little boyfriend(ish), I thought but it could be me just being hopeful. Then he told me he’d see me at the end of break since we have a week break right now form school. I text him tonight because I’m still on campus and he just had a swim meet today but he told me he was just going to ‘hang with the guys.’ I said he was welcome to crash at my place at the end of the night and he thanked me but said he had an early night so he would probably stay at his. So… there it is. Mixed messages and I dk what to do. HELP. What does any of this mean and why are guys so confusing?? I know he’s busy but I really think he’s over-estimating the amount of effort you have to put into a relationship when you’re both in dorms that are 20 meters apart.

    dumbGames
    dumbGames
    Participant
    November 20, 2012 at 10:23 am #16749

    ok, this is first a) way too detailed. b) your ex bf is right. you DO get too emotionally attached.

    Stop trying to read every move he makes! He’s not interested in you girl, sorry.

    sphinx_s
    sphinx_s
    Participant
    November 21, 2012 at 2:12 pm #17016

    BlockBurger34 wrote:I might be gay, but I’m still a man. I have to say, being approached by anyone with romantic intentions is super flattering. It makes you feel confident and sexy and able to handle anything. Approach that man and ask him a question causally, youd be surprised what happens.

    I agree with you, a woman can be sexy if she does approach a guy first. Some women don’t know how though and I think it’s about being flirtatious and trying to avoid the awkward stumbles here and there.

    candycorn52
    candycorn52
    Participant
    November 21, 2012 at 2:28 pm #17022

    Yep, it is impressive if a girl can approach another guy and get him to successfully go with her on a date. I on the other hand, don’t have a reason to. I’ve got school, my classwork and already too many silly boys in my classes to worry about this…

    carlycatz
    carlycatz
    Participant
    November 21, 2012 at 2:39 pm #17024

    The best I’ve done is talk to a guy who was standing next to me at a bar, it was loud and we spoke outside on the patio.

    I was away from my other girlfriends for a good 30 minutes until one of them came looking for me. But I liked that I had the upper hand during the conversation, he bought me another drink which was nice of him to do too.

    sara
    sara
    Participant
    November 21, 2012 at 11:51 pm #17099
    Reply To: How to Approach Him

    Approaching a stranger can sometimes put you in an awkward position especially when the person is already going around with someone else. So, it is better to approach someone who is known and I am sure he will be more than happy when you start conversing with him.

    Jason
    Jason
    Participant
    November 26, 2012 at 11:15 am #17198
    Reply To: How to Approach Him

    I’m a guy and it is flattering when a woman hits on us guys. I of course have to turn them down (not that it happens a lot lol) but it lets me know that I still have it.

    • This reply was modified 5 years ago by Jason Jason.
    carlycatz
    carlycatz
    Participant
    November 28, 2012 at 3:22 pm #17454
    Reply To: How to Approach Him

    That’s nice you appreciate it when a girl approaches you. I like having the upper hand sometimes but I can definitely see why it’s so nerve racking for guys! Props to you all!


    glitterisfun
    Participant
    December 23, 2012 at 12:44 am #19446
    Reply To: How to Approach Him

    I approached someone that don’t really know…I gave him a Christmas card with my phone number in it.. The card was a perfect excuse or opportunity to give him my number, I just wished I had written more….but I think any man…would get the hint that I want to talk to him and hook up right!?

    abigail
    abigail
    Participant
    January 7, 2013 at 1:05 pm #20074
    Reply To: How to Approach Him

    If by “hookup” you mean just meet and get to know them, then yea, I think what you did was enough. If you had added a note to it, you may have also over thought what your wrote anyway. I think the phone number was good!


    abbystheone
    Participant
    February 20, 2013 at 9:55 am #23109
    Reply To: How to Approach Him

    C’mon women….we have it easy compared to the guys…lol! All you need to do is put on your make-up, dress to kill, and look over in his direction. When it all comes down to it, we don’t have to do a thing but look good and they’ll come to us!

    However…if you want to let him know you’re interested; smile from across the room and if that doesn’t work walk over to him and ask if you can see his hand. He’ll probably be curious as to why you want to see his hand right? Take his hand and write your phone number on it and smile and walk away!

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