Are you making this 1 mistake that’s a huge guy repellent?

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Are you making this 1 mistake that’s a huge guy repellent?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    ZY
    Participant
    June 18, 2017 at 5:10 pm #139842
    Are you making this 1 mistake that’s a huge guy repellent?

    We were waiting in line to buy movie tickets, and the whole time I was just thinking how I really wanted to come with a boyfriend.
    If I had one.
    Then, I saw this girl hanging on her boyfriend as they were getting popcorn. I couldn’t help it but I kept thinking, how come she has a boyfriend and I don’t? There is nothing special about her, she pretty plain, doesn’t dress that well either. I was getting jealous, he seemed really into her. Have you had those moments, where you just get really frustrated that all the other girls somehow get it and you don’t?
    I used to think there must be something wrong with me. On one side, I knew I am pretty rational and decently self aware, on the other side, I was clearly missing something. And the worst part is, you can’t really tell anyone, cause everyone will start telling you “oh, you’re just too young, you’ll meet somebody.”


    ZY
    Participant
    June 18, 2017 at 5:11 pm #139843

    (got cut off)
    Yeah, I’m sure by the time I’m 35 I’ll meet someone, but one – I don’t wanna wait that long, and two – am I gonna be really happy with that somebody or just desperate enough?
    Of course I didn’t want that to be the case. That’s why I started looking more into relationships trying to figure out what I was missing. Fast forward to today, I LOVE spending time with my boyfriend! We go to the movies, I can curl around him and get held all I want. I love that we talk about everything, I never have to guess where we stand or if he is gonna be there for me. And it’s soo much easier to focus on my professional growth when this part of my life is figured out.

    Looking back, I realize that I was missing a few things, but the most important one that I still think about every week is learning to love myself and take time for myself. And I don’t mean some weird “love yourself and everything will be fine” B.S. but learning to really appreciate myself and listen more to how I feel. Be less guilty when I don’t feel like doing something, or just wanna relax and take a bath. Not feel pressured to go out, when I feel like staying in and reading a book. Just taking that time for myself really helped me feel more fulfilled, whole and grounded even before I had a boyfriend. AND my boyfriend LOVES it! He loves that I know how keep myself happy and grounded, and it gives him a plenty of time to do his own stuff. So when we are done taking time for ourselves, we have even more energy and love for each other.

    Are you having trouble saying no sometimes? Will you try doing more for yourself to keep yourself happy and fulfilled?

    • This reply was modified 2 months ago by  ZY.

    ZY
    Participant
    June 19, 2017 at 12:25 pm #139844

    Looking back, I realize that I was missing a few things, but the most important one that I still think about every week is learning to love myself and take time for myself. And I don’t mean some weird “love yourself and everything will be fine” B.S. but learning to really appreciate myself and listen more to how I feel. Be less guilty when I don’t feel like doing something, or just wanna relax and take a bath. Not feel pressured to go out, when I feel like staying in and reading a book. Just taking that time for myself really helped me feel more fulfilled, whole and grounded even before I had a boyfriend. AND my boyfriend LOVES it! He loves that I know how keep myself happy and grounded, and it gives him a plenty of time to do his own stuff. So when we are done taking time for ourselves, we have even more energy and love for each other.

    Are you having trouble saying no sometimes? Will you try doing more for yourself to keep yourself happy and fulfilled?

    Ellipsis
    Ellipsis
    Participant
    June 19, 2017 at 4:45 pm #139964

    Wow! You said it, couldn’t agree more.

    Very enlightening, thank you for sharing

    Ellipsis
    Ellipsis
    Participant
    June 19, 2017 at 4:56 pm #139967

    (although it applies to guys too)

    prettysharon26
    prettysharon26
    Participant
    June 21, 2017 at 4:19 am #140143

    It’s all about not settling for just anyone


    Louie97
    Participant
    June 21, 2017 at 7:24 pm #140222

    I love this! Definitely made me do some self-reflection.