Asked her to break up so I can explore, 6 months later she did and it hurts

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Asked her to break up so I can explore, 6 months later she did and it hurts

    Author
    Comments
  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    November 11, 2017 at 9:08 am FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

    Hey DatingAdvice.com forum readers! Just a quick heads up that a few dating sites are offering a FREE trial to DatingAdvice forum readers. Try it now and meet local singles in just a few minutes! Here are the sites:

    Site Who You'll Meet Today's Deal
    Match.com Casual dating for ages 18-65 Get FREE access
    Elite Singles Educated professionals 25 and older Get FREE access
    AFF.com Hookups, casual encounters Get FREE access

    What are you waiting for? One mouse click could be all that stands between you and your next romance!

    moeb4797
    moeb4797
    Participant
    October 15, 2017 at 6:01 pm #152840
    Asked her to break up so I can explore, 6 months later she did and it hurts

    Me and my ex-girlfriend(long distance) have been together for 3 years, and we’re very close and involved in each other’s lives. We are both 20 years old and trust each other with the most personal of topics. About 6 months ago I kept having thoughts of exploring and wanting to craved the rush of hooking up and the hunt of meeting new girls( we were in an open relationship but didin’t act on it because we knew the other would be jealous, just small things) I still loved her but we both got lucky with our similarities and open mindedness but it was the first serious relationship for both of us.

    She fought very hard and even though I wanted to explore, not for one second did i think that we wouldn’t be together. About 2 months ago at a bar she met a guy who made her realize that what I was saying made sense and she wanted it. She didn’t go out with this guy but after hearing that she could like another guy it made me realize that I might actually loose her.

    • This topic was modified 1 month, 1 week ago by moeb4797 moeb4797.
    moeb4797
    moeb4797
    Participant
    October 15, 2017 at 6:07 pm #152842

    After she realize that she also wanted this, she had one difference from my point of view. She realized that we can’t predict the future and that maybe she needs to see if someone else can also make her happy. She doesn’t want a relationship anytime soon and isn’t hunting for one but she says that she’ll go with the flow with whatever happens. She still loves me and she still wants me as a boyfriend but she doesn’t want to remember the depression i put her though the last 6 months and she wants to just have positive experiences meeting new people. However, every single day all i do is think about her.
    I even help her talk to these boys because I am not trying to ruin what she wants and will always support her, just like she will with me.

    This December I will be in the city, where she lives for one month and am moving back to the city in May (no more long distance). She said she doesn’t want a relationship for a long time and doesn’t want to promise me anything because she doesn’t..

    moeb4797
    moeb4797
    Participant
    October 16, 2017 at 9:00 am #152843

    know what will happen in the period of time i am gone. She still craves that I want her and she knows she would be happy with me, but her mind is set on not getting into a relationship anytime soon and that she just wants to be friends. One time I told her that I am going to cut off contact because it will be better for both of us, I truly didn’t want it but if she agreed to it then that was that. However, she didn’t agree to it, she said no and not in an emotional way but in a way that she still wants me in her life.

    she blocks her feelings, she won’t let herself feel for me again because she isn’t ready.

    I feel i’ve pushed her away with my constant whining about us being happy together and she should give me a second chance, she said if in the future we don’t find anyone that makes us happier, she deff wants it.

    I still want to explore and take our time, but is there anything I should do to solidify or make her feel those feelings again when I move back to the city?

    moeb4797
    moeb4797
    Participant
    October 16, 2017 at 9:02 am #152844

    Thank you to everyone who replies, I know my post was very long and I deeply appreciate any feedback!

    moeb4797
    moeb4797
    Participant
    October 16, 2017 at 9:06 am #152845

    When I move back to the city what can i do to change her mind? Make her give me the second chance?


    Carolina55
    Participant
    October 16, 2017 at 9:52 am #152905

    She’s realizing she needs to move on past the emotions and the pain of this breakup before her head is clear again. When she says she’s not ready for a relationship, you probably owe it to her to take her word on that. I know that’s not what you want to hear but there’s also nothing that can change that… And why would you? She needs to grow and heal before she’s of any use to anybody. Maybe that person in the future will be you, maybe not. The best you can do is communicate what you feel and want and let her decide on her own.

    You both are young and it’s perfectly normal at this point in your lives to feel the need to move on. I imagine that’s very difficult for you to hear right now but I promise you have a lot to look forward to. Head high.

    candydude
    candydude
    Participant
    October 18, 2017 at 11:59 am #153232

    Don’t help her talk to other guys dude! But I agree with Carolina55, and I think you should see if you could find someone else that makes you happy. If you do find someone else, great. If not, you can touch base with her and see if there’s still anything there.