Asking Out a Co-Worker

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Asking Out a Co-Worker

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  • mnm12345
    Participant
    June 5, 2017 at 8:02 pm #138513
    Asking Out a Co-Worker

    Hi there,

    I have this crush on this co-worker who I genuinely would love to get to know. She is not my boss and vice versa. Same floor and everything just different department. We have interacted a couple of times. All work related. Sometimes our work may overlap each other’s but rarely. My buddies tell me, I should just wait and let it happen.. but my heart tells me to just go for it whenever a private moment opens up and simply let her know my intentions of wanting to grab drinks/dinner to get to know her. Multiple times, I’ve caught eyes with her and vice versa. I have feeling it’s mutual but I have never actually asked out a girl in person.. so I don’t want to be too forward or put her in an awkward position?

    Advice??

    Kenneth87
    Kenneth87
    Participant
    June 5, 2017 at 8:14 pm #138514

    There’s a good chance that if you have a crush on her she already knows, especially if you regularly have eye contact. Girls are good at sniffing out that stuff. You can intentionally say a lot with your eyes too. If she isn’t dismissive towards that you should at least try.

    The right moment you bring it up matters however. While working is not the best as there’s a good chance she’ll be preoccupied, neither is after work when she’s tired. You’re the one who knows best when there are openings.

    Personally I’d approach her in her long break, maybe lunch break? When she has time to relax a bit. Chatting her up a bit before dropping a bombshell is also advisable. Even if she is interested in you it could scare her away otherwise.

    I’ll leave the girls to determine what to actually do, they’ll know better.

    • This reply was modified 3 weeks ago by Kenneth87 Kenneth87.
    • This reply was modified 3 weeks ago by Kenneth87 Kenneth87.

    mnm12345
    Participant
    June 5, 2017 at 10:25 pm #138525

    Thanks for your input, Kenneth. I appreciate it. Honestly, with each day passing by, I feel like my chances diminish… Hence why I feel like I’m working against the clock… :/ I guess you will never know until you take a chance. No matter how much assurance you want to get.

    Kenneth87
    Kenneth87
    Participant
    June 5, 2017 at 11:24 pm #138527

    I have a habit of moving too quickly because I know exactly what I want and when I see it I go for it, that’s often overwhelming to the girl. So I think you should trust your own gut feeling over mine. However it also means I have a lot of experience, both successes and failures.

    The reason I focused so much on eye-contact in my first response is that if she holds eye-contact with you longer than others it’s a clear signal that she’s interested(unless it’s because she thinks you’re a creep, but I trust you can tell the difference). That doesn’t mean she wants to be your girlfriend, but it means you might have an in if you play it right.

    June 6, 2017 at 1:16 am #138539

    If you’re looking for more time with her, especially outside of work and without being to forward, suggest going out for drinks with a group from work. Then you can start to get to know her on a different level and it will be easier to flirt with her/judge her reactions!


    mnm12345
    Participant
    June 8, 2017 at 9:24 am #138785

    Would any one of you guys have advice on how to ask her without being too forward or too much but enough to make her aware of my intentions?? We do talk here n there.. Mostly it’s through message but the conversation is not dull or anything.


    mnm12345
    Participant
    June 8, 2017 at 9:27 am #138786

    Any suggestions you may have to ask her when the time is ready without being too direct/forward?? We do talk here n there and the conversations are actually good!


    court666
    Participant
    June 12, 2017 at 12:10 am #139174

    life is to short take the plunge ask her


    newbielove
    Participant
    June 12, 2017 at 12:33 am #139176

    I think it would be weird if you guys haven’t had a real conversation…start there. At least from there you can feel her out (not literally) and see if she is digging you. If not, ON TO THE NEXT CHICK!

    jamieshaw
    jamieshaw
    Participant
    June 12, 2017 at 4:49 am #139181
    Reply To: Asking Out a Co-Worker

    I wouldn’t try to date a coworker. It never turns out well.

    Kenneth87
    Kenneth87
    Participant
    June 12, 2017 at 5:23 am #139187
    Reply To: Asking Out a Co-Worker

    @Jamie That’s just wrong. My mom and her husband are co-workers and literally has the same job title and work area, they work much closer than what OP is describing. So that it never works well is definitely wrong.

    From what I gather OP has the same workplace as her, but doesn’t work with her. Denying yourself getting close to someone like that altogether is stupid.


    RedRockChicka
    Participant
    June 13, 2017 at 9:28 am #139339
    Reply To: Asking Out a Co-Worker

    My stock advice when it comes to dating coworkers is, “don’t do it.” One, you don’t know if they will be the sort to sabotage you if things go south. Even if they don’t, you’ll have to deal with the pain of seeing them every day if things don’t work. If you absolutely have to, it’s better if you do work in different departments now, or that you have the option to change departments if things don’t go as planned. I wish you luck!


    Twinkle_4
    Participant
    June 17, 2017 at 7:07 am #139804
    Reply To: Asking Out a Co-Worker

    Just go for it bud . What’s the worst can happen ? If everything goes south , it will be lil hard to face them every day in office . But you should beleive and take a plunge that everything gonna work all right .

    Ellipsis
    Ellipsis
    Participant
    June 17, 2017 at 4:44 pm #139818
    Reply To: Asking Out a Co-Worker

    Ask her for coffee, don’t make a big deal out of it.
    Be cool, confident and charming. That way if it goes wrong, it’ll still be easy to see them everyday

    Though beware of mixing business with pleasure!


    suusefrnk
    Participant
    June 18, 2017 at 9:56 pm #139849
    Reply To: Asking Out a Co-Worker

    Go for it, try to fond out what she like through social media

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